Walk with Me Wednesday: What Mindfulness is Missing

In today’s episode, Ryann takes you into the real heart of mindfulness — not the tidy, think-your-way-to-calm version — but the embodied, lived-in, messy human version. This episode is a grounding breath for anyone who feels stretched thin, rushed, overwhelmed, or stuck in their head.

This episode covers: 

• Mindfulness is helpful, but mental awareness alone won’t ground you — true presence requires somatic awareness too.
• Most overwhelm isn’t a mindset problem; it’s a nervous system one — especially for women conditioned to live in their minds.
• A yoga teaching reframed everything: it’s not about “ascending” spiritually, but descending fully into your body.
• Your childhood wiring (ages 0–7) influences today’s rushing, reacting, and difficulty staying present.
• A simple hand-on-heart + belly breath practice can expand your sense of time and help you drop back into your body in seconds.
• A reminder that healing isn’t about being perfect — it’s about being present.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome to Raising Wild Hearts. I'm Ryan Watkin, and this is my weekly podcast where I share conversations that matter, soulful talks to help you create a fulfilling life, raise the next generation with patience, presence, and purpose, and stay deeply connected to yourself, to others, and the divine. Around here, we believe we can change the world by starting at home. Let's dive in. Happy Wednesday if you're listening to this on the day it comes out. And instead of walking with me today, you are driving with me. That's just how the logistics for the day have turned out. And something that is alive and really prompting me to be curious right now is mindfulness. And what for me, mindfulness has been missing. Well, I have identified as someone who's intelligent or smart or at least able to really like analytically figure out problems. And for a number of years, as a kid, I was told you're so smart, that kind of a thing, and praised for academic achievement, as I'm sure many of you were. And so I really um identify with the mind being such a powerful tool. And when I started studying personal growth and ways to show up as a better human for myself, the ones I love and the ones I don't, not naming any names, but uh resting bitch face in the Ford expedition who stole my spot at the smoothie shop today. I mean, honestly, I came back from yoga. I was so peaceful. I'm like, every time I go to yoga, I call my husband or talk to my husband. He's like, How's it how was yoga? And I'm like, I can do it. I can keep lifing. Like, I'm a different human. And uh, this fall from grace happened very, very quickly on the way home from yoga. And I found myself kind of like mumbling expletives to this, you know, woman with some big shades and a big ass Ford expedition who took my spot. We so easily get knocked off our center. And so one of the things I found when I started doing this work was mindfulness and becoming aware. And so, okay, I'm aware, right, that this person, human, who took my spot at the smoothie shop really annoyed me. And why did that annoy me? Right. And, you know, it felt really inconvenient. And then I ended up saying, well, fuck it. I'll just make, you know, we we get granola from this smoothie shop and my kids love it on top of their smoothie bowl. And I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna make granola at home. All right, problem solved. You know what? Thanks, universe, for telling me like we have all the ingredients. It's actually better when I make it at home anyway. So I was like, okay, I'm gonna skip over this minor inconvenience. Anyway, so the awareness, right? I'm like mentally aware. I'm like figuring out this problem, like, yes, I I see it, I can analyze it, all good. I found a solution, moving on. And the problem with that is that I didn't, or sometimes don't, really tune in to my body and my body awareness of processing that initial emotion, which was, you know, there were cars honking, like there was a backup, like I was backing up traffic, she was backing up traffic. And I started to feel really on edge, really like I had to rush out the door. And for some of you, this might be relevant. Some of you might be the ones rushing your kids out the door, or you might remember when you were a kid getting rushed out the door and this sense of like urgency almost, which brings up kind of for me, like this panicky feeling. Like, oh my God, I need to, you know, fix it right now. I need to move right now, I need to like it's this urgency. And, you know, if I went a couple layers deeper, I might be able to find another word, but I'm not gonna do that right now. So what's missing for me so often, and I think for so many of us, is this somatic sensation. When we talk about being better humans, showing up for the ones we love better, showing up for ourselves better, showing up for the moment when, you know, the woman takes your parking spot when you've got this whole plan in your mind about how things are gonna go, and it doesn't go according to plan, there's really this mind, body, soul connection that for me, anyways, I found to be like the holy grail. And so when those three things are aligned in our lives, in the day-to-day, like mundane stuff, and also in the big stuff, the big decisions, the where are we gonna live? What am I gonna do for work? Um, what kind of a parent do I show up as? How can I make a fulfilled marriage? Like the big stuff and the small stuff, when we have this mind-body, soul connection, that is when we are truly aligned. Not to use like a super buzzy buzzword, but I'm gonna. So I am really good at this mind realm. You know, following the breadcrumbs, the researching, analyzing, you know, coming up with a solution to a perceived problem in any given day. Super good at that. The soul piece, I really started to practice that and become more aware of that in, I'd say it was like 2017 when I started my beloved yoga practice. And that really tapped me into, tuned me into I am a soul having a human experience. And then here we are lagging behind this, like, you know, body realm, like a little puppy standing back there barking, like, don't leave me. And um, the body has been my, I don't know, Achilles heel. Like, I can't think of another metaphor. It's been the thing that has been the hardest for me because I'm so comfortable living in the mind and the soul realms. It's like I'm constantly and consistently leaving behind my body until I remember, hey, I'm leaving behind my body. Gotta remember that. And even when I do remember, it is still like an ongoing challenge for me. So, one of the ways that I remind myself to get in my body and then actually take action on getting in my body is yes, paired with that mindfulness. And it's becoming aware of how I'm feeling in my body in any given moment and stopping, pausing, and we're talking five-second pause here, right? So in the car, the lady takes my parking spot. I'm really pissed. I notice that I'm pissed, and then I go, okay, where's this happening in my body? And in this instance, it was really kind of fiery in my solar plexus. And so I breathed into that, felt that, let that kind of move through, and I moved on. And so we really, I really could be doing this like hundreds of times a day. And oftentimes I'm just brushing it under the rug, forgetting, you know, making excuses. I'm too busy to feel that right now. What's happening here with this brushing the body piece under the rug for me, a lot of it is based in rooted in fear. And this is ancient fear, you know, it's new fear too, but this is like primal fear that perhaps my soul was meant to go through in this lifetime, right? For me, being in my body my entire life was actually unsafe in in certain moments, between like zero to seven. So, of course, if you know, zero to seven are the years when we are literally uploading every bit of information from the world around us, from our primary caregivers, from, you know, whatever, if we're going to school, from the people who we see the most, from culture, from every single thing, we are just uploading this into our subconscious mind. And we are, you know, making meaning out of things, we're making beliefs out of things, we're forming our worldview at this time. And so for you, if during the ages of zero to seven, you know, something big was going on, or you were having some either little or big trauma, that is what forms and shapes your subconscious, your psyche, and your ego. And so for me, getting the message that it's not safe to be in this body, of course I found solace in being in my mind all the time. Of course I found solace in, you know, the work of meditation or mindfulness. I was like, I can do that. I've lived in my mind almost my entire life. So yes, I got that. And something my beloved yoga teacher said last week, it was, I mean, it completely just like hit me this wave of knowing and energy. And we were doing some, I think it was like some core work. We were laying on our backs, our legs were up in the air, we were doing like leg lifts, something that was really core intensive. And like, you know, you felt it, right? If you were there, which I was, I was purposely like, okay, you can, you know, you can feel this, you know, giving myself the pep talk, like you can do this, as my body's like shaking, right? My nervous system is like, no, you can't do this. But in my mind, I'm going, like, you can do this. And what she said to us, she always talks to us when we're doing our our yoga, which is beautiful because it's like a, it's like a teaching as we're we're working on our bodies and our minds and souls. And she said, this was never about ascension. And I was like, whoa. And then she went on to say, this was always about descending here on the earth, on this planet, into this body that you have chosen to be in in this lifetime. This was never about ascension. And I'm like, holy shit, because for years, you know, like a decade, I've been trying to, you know, raise the vibration higher, higher frequency, right? Becoming ascended, ascending into 5D, ascending into 7D, you know, it questioned all of that for me. And what I felt, that wave of energy that came up as she said, this was never about ascension. This was always about descending into your body. It was this wave of truth and it was this wave of remembrance of we need to be here and not just be here, but actually really be here. So I don't know if any of you have husbands who work a lot and who are like working on their phone and attached to their phone. And, you know, listen, this is like me too. I mean, this is probably everybody at this point. But one of the things I frequently find myself saying to my husband is like, I know you're here, but like we really want you to be here now. Cause when I see him like working on his phone or taking another phone call, I get a little um, I get my panties in a bunch. So I'm like, we really just want you to be here. So there's a difference between being here and truly being here, landing in your body, being available fully for what's in front of you, fully being available for the challenge, the blessing, the whatever the thing is that's standing in front of you. And because we live in South Florida, there's no shortage of traffic metaphors. And so I've got another traffic metaphor from this morning, like same like literally within two hours. I was on the way to yoga and there was someone honking at a red light. And just this tiny piece of me was like, come on, you know, how much of a hurry are we in? Like, chill out, let's all just breathe. Can't we just be one? What's the hurry? Right. And of course, I don't have, I don't have no idea what's going on in this honker's life. You know, it could be a man driving his wife to the hospital to give birth. Like, who knows, right? Who, who knows the stories that could have been going on in this person's life? And but so the tiny part of me judged of like, come on, let's not be honkers. Come on, it's a beautiful Wednesday morning. Like, let's just, let's just get along. Can't we just all get along? And I realized in that moment that my hypocritical nature was just like super alive and well, because about 15 minutes prior, I was metaphorically honking at my children to get out of the house and pack up the backpacks and let's get the shoes on, and it's time for socks. And did you get your violin and I don't know, you know, get your lunch, get your electrolytes, get your water. And I kind of replayed the morning in my head and I was like, could I have been a little bit calmer? Could I have been more present? And the answer is yes. And honestly, the answer is yes, a lot of like, could I have been more present? Yes. Do I catch myself multiple times a day rushing through the rhythm and the routine just to check the list off the box and to sit down or to you know get to the next thing? Like, yes, like yes, yes, yes. Like it's just true. And I'm not gonna bullshit you and like tell you that my life is perfect and that it's super easy and spacious to like have three kids. Like, it's fucking not. It's not. And I have an opportunity in every interaction that I have with these children who chose me to be their mama in this lifetime. I have an opportunity to be fully present like I'm asking from of my husband, you know, fully present like I'm asking from this random honker on the road. Let's just be fully present to what is, right? You can wait a half a second more, you know, for the cars in front of you to get going once that light turns green. So when I replay these moments in my mind of, you know, rushed mornings or rushed nighttime routines or whatever it might be, right? So often for me, like 90% of the time, I'm too much in my mind. And I am completely, you know, jumping steps. I'm like leapfrogging over what's right in front of me to get to the next thing. And that is a body awareness, a somatic experience that I must be committed to. I must be, yes, where my two feet are, but like literally where my two feet are, grounded in to the earth, to the floor, to this body, grounded in, descended in, dropped in the body, fully, fully alive and present and available for what's in front of me. And I wanted to share this with you because I feel like this is an experience that's pretty universal, like, especially as busy moms, busy women, ambitious women, women who are getting shit done. There's not a busy, ambitious, amazing mom I know that isn't just a complete badass at getting stuff done and just like, like, look, we're in the holiday season. Every mom I know is just like freaking hustling and, you know, crushing it. And also, like, what's a layer beneath that? Like, how are we truly feeling when we go and hide the elf? And, you know, our elf hasn't come yet. Side note, our elf does not come until like a week and a half before Christmas because I refuse to do the elf thing all month long. Anyway, that was a side note. So when we're moving the elf, when we're buying the presents, when we're wrapping the gifts, when we're going to the family events, when, when, when, right? Because the calendar gets 10x this month. When we're doing those things, when we're in the car on the way to yoga, when we're on the way home, how are you truly descended or grounded in your body? And is there a sense of safety? Do you feel safe to be in this body in this moment at any given time throughout the day? And I hope the answer's yes for you. And if the answer's like maybe or not really, or I don't know, just know that like that is completely normal. And honestly, I would even go as far to say like a universal experience. We were conditioned and taught and praised, even for being analytical in our minds, for being smart little girls, for being, you know, girls who can get shit done and figure it out and jump from this to that. And so this is a deep, deep program that we just need to shift. And so the invitation here is to really pay attention the next time if you live in South Florida or a traffic area, the next time some traffic things happen, you know, give yourself a beat and ask yourself, like, where am I feeling this in my body? And what is this? Like, what is this coming from? When you're rushing to get the kids out the door, take a break, like take a pause. This morning I literally did. I said to my oldest, like, you know, because she's going, we're gonna be late. And I was like, okay. And that was my cue. Like when she said that, I was like, okay, I guess there needs to be an adult here, might as well be me. And I said, we can expand time when we're calm. Our perception of time actually does shift when we're calm. So I said, we're gonna put a hand on a heart and a hand on the belly, and we're gonna take three breaths. And of course, she's just like rolling her eyes, like, no, mom, like seriously, I'm looking at the clock. Like, if we don't get going, like we're gonna be late. And so I stopped, I paused, I put my hand on my heart, put my hand on my belly, took those breaths, got back into my body, realized like exactly what I'm preaching, which is we're right on time. We can expand time when we're calm. When we land here in this body, we can solve problems, move through chaos as the calm in the eye of the storm. Just know that we are all going through some version of struggle, challenge, some form of overcoming, stepping into, you know, our best selves, like is messy. It's not fucking butterflies and rainbows. Like, personal growth is not like let me just vibe super high and manifest the million dollars and whatever. Like, it's also trudging through the muck and building new neuropathways and choosing new habits. And sometimes that can feel like a fucking slog, like let's just call it what it is. Is sometimes it's like, oh my god, am I still working through this? Right. I hope so much for you that you're able to ground into and be descended into your body for that celebration, too. So wherever you're at, the lowest low, the highest high, or everywhere in between, the invitation here is to really be where your two feet are. All right, that's it for today. As always, thank you for being here. And remember, changing the world starts in the small and soulful, the quiet and the mundane, around the dinner table, on walks, and most importantly, inside your own heart. Make sure you're following the podcast or subscribed on YouTube. And if you feel inspired right now, send the link to this episode with someone who needs some inspiration. If you haven't yet, leave a five star review with some words about why you love raising wild hearts. And until next time, friend, go love someone well.