Walk with Me Wednesday: The Neuroscience of Compassion

In this walk-with-me-Wednesday episode of Raising Wild Hearts, Ryann is exploring the science — and the lived experience — behind compassion, intuition, and the frequencies we carry into our daily lives. 

You’ll hear:
• The museum moment that revealed how “electric” we truly are
• How meditation strengthens empathy centers in the brain
• What to make of energetic frequencies like love and compassion
• Why belief shapes reality more than we think
• The parenting stat that every overwhelmed mom needs to hear
• How to stay grounded in compassion — even on the messy days

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Transcript

Intro: 0:05

Welcome to Raising Wild Hearts. I'm Ryan Watkin, and this is my weekly podcast where I share conversations that matter, soulful talks to help you create a fulfilling life, raise the next generation with patience, presence, and purpose, and stay deeply connected to yourself, to others, and the divine. Around here, we believe we can change the world by starting at home. Let's dive in.

Ryann : 0:30

So the other day, I was at a museum with my youngest. He's four. And we were going around to the different exhibits, and there's a thing called Jacob's ladder. I don't know if you've ever seen this at like a science museum or something. There's two copper plates on the outside of it. And when I touched those plates with my hands, a spark ran up in between the two metal stakes, basically, and like traveled up and then kept going. Like it kept kind of flowing, the electricity. And it's interesting because first of all, I was like, that is so cool. Like as I kind of live vicariously with and through my kids' childhood, I feel like I'm learning things in a whole different way. Like I never learned that as a kid. And if I did, I forgot about it because I didn't care at the time enough to remember. And so I'm 42 years old, like watching my hands go on this copper plate and sending electricity up these two metal wires. And I'm absolutely beginner's mind, obsessed and mystified with how this is working. Like how my hands made this electrical spark go up these two wires. And it was the coolest example of showing me that I am being powered by electricity too. So at the Rise and Flourish Summit, our keynote speaker, Brooke McPoyle, did a number of different demonstrations in regards to how we as humans are made of electricity, where our intuition comes from. And she used an example of getting out of a tent at night to pee while she was camping, and how she was like so quiet and she's listening around, you know, for anything that might be making a sound because it's pitch black. She's trying to find a place to pee in the middle of the night. She's not particularly familiar, right, with this area. And so you can imagine yourself like getting out of a tent at night while you're camping, looking for a safe place to go to pee. And we as humans are absorbing and interpreting and basically learning from the various frequencies, fields, and energies around us. When we are tuned into a frequency of love and connection or compassion, that's basically what we attract. So it's the reason that when you're having a really good morning and your hair is looking awesome and the kids are well behaved or whatever it is for you, that you meet the right person or you have a great conversation with your spouse and you feel super more in love with them. It's the kind of day that everything just feels like it's falling into place and lining up without much or any effort at all, actually. And of course, we know like the hard day when you spill the coffee and then you hit all the red lights and you're late and you're even more late. Those kind of mornings, right? So if like attracts like, what do you want to attract in your life, right? So when I think about what I want to attract and you know, the good days versus the bad days, I'm doing air quotes for the good and bad because neutrality is really the goal for me. So the days when everything's lining up versus the days when it feels like everything might be stacking against you. When I think about how I want to align my frequency or my energy, it's become increasingly clear that I want to be in the frequency, in the resonance of love and compassion. As you're listening to this, I'm almost on 365 days. I'm smiling as I'm saying that because honestly, like my own mind is kind of blown by that. But I'm almost on 365 days of a three-minute meditation every single morning amidst all the holidays and the various ebbs and flows of the year. I have mostly gotten up before everyone in my house. Sometimes I'm doing it as you know, breakfast is getting going if I woke up late, but I'm getting up and I'm promising to myself I'm gonna do this three-minute meditation. And I didn't, when I started, even say like I want to do a year. I didn't set a goal. I just said I'm gonna do this every day. And so I did. So almost to 365 days of this meditation, I can say that the effects of it, and of course, here I'm N of one, right? This is not like a formal scientific experiment, but I can tell you that I've been able to over the course of this year stay in a frequency more of love, compassion, gratitude, all those higher frequency feelings and emotions that we all really want more of. We all want more bliss, we all want more ease, we all want more joy and gratitude. And it's not that my life was without challenge this past year, but it's that I was able to stay grounded in that frequency. Dr. Tanya Singer's work has shown that after completing a meditation, I believe it was a loving-kindness meditation, for a certain number of days. I forget what the experiment conditions were, but basically what she found was that practicing meditation strengthens the area of the brain which you feel empathy in. And this is not a you should meditate talk. Like, don't get it twisted. I'm not telling you you should meditate. What I am telling you is that you already know what you should do. And it could be a whole number of things, right? The idea is though, how can you get your frequency, your vibration, the tune to which your body is humming at? Our physical bodies are electric. So I want you to think about where that default switch is for you. Maybe how you're waking up just on a random weekday or on a weekend. Like, how are you waking up? What's the vibe that you're putting out? Are you, you know, begrudgingly hitting snooze on your alarm? Been there, but like, what's the the vibe that you're putting out? And I invite you just to be really honest and like not judge yourself, but like, what is it? What is it truly? 50% of the time, are you like pretty happy, pretty grateful? 80% of the time, are you pretty happy, pretty grateful? 99% of the time, are you pretty happy, pretty grateful? One of the stats I love is around parenting, of course, and motherhood, because whenever I screw up, I have to remind myself this. I screwed up this week and totally just like lost it on everybody in my household, including but not limited to my four-year-old. My husband was out of town. We were having a chaotic morning. I had an experience of this intense anger or rage running through me. And I yelled and I broke a glass in the sink because I threw it in there instead of just placing it in there like a regular, you know, person would do when they were feeling fine or content or grateful. And one of the things I have to remind myself is this stat that we don't have to get it right 100% of the time to have good, healthy, positive, connected relationships with the kids or people in our lives. And I think it's something like 65%, and it might even be lower. So 65% of the time, if you are showing up calm, connected, you know, grateful, listening, present, then that's enough for a lifetime relationship that's healthy, right? Doesn't mean you're not gonna have various challenges in your relationships or work through things, but 65%. I mean, that was an F, right? When we were in school. So if we bring that around to maybe your goal is feeling the way you want to feel 65% of the time, being that present, purposeful, calm, loving, compassionate person, mom, wife, human, soul 65% of the time. Is that something that you want in your life? Would that make your life better? Would that make your days and your weeks, your months and your years better? And I wonder if you started something today that 365 days from now you looked back on and first of all, you kept a promise to yourself of you did what you said you were gonna do. And then second of all, it enriched your life for the better. It added a higher frequency, a more loving vibe into your life and your relationships, your work, your art, your family, your home. If you think back over the various holidays that you've had, we're in the holiday season right now. If you think back to last year and maybe this year coming up, or maybe just Thanksgiving in the US here, which was a few weeks ago, how were those interactions with your people? Because we joke about it. Oh, yeah, let's get around the Thanksgiving table and talk about politics and talk about all the ways we disagree with each other and our life choices and our beliefs. You know, it's a joke in our culture, I would say, but it's not a joke. You know, it's real life. And I can say, from my personal experience, that there have been so many moments like that where it's like, why are we arguing? Why are we fighting? Like, who fucking cares who's right, whose beliefs are better, whose ideas, right? Who cares? So from where I'm standing, empathy is the key here. Oh my gosh, the cutest dog just walked by. Like a poodle with he was like a gray poodle with a little white, fluffy haircut on the top of his head. Oh my gosh. So many cute dogs on my walks. I don't know about you, but I just want to like pet them all. Pet all the dogs, but I'm not stopping because we're walking and talking. So if empathy is the key to healthy, connected relationships, what's stopping us from using sourcing that empathy? Neuroscience is showing us that our brains are malleable. So if I can for 365 days do a three-minute meditation in the morning and notice when I look back on my year, wow, I was calmer this year as compared to last year. Wow, I was more successful this year as compared to last year. Wow. I built better relationships this year as opposed to last year. One more thing I want to tell you before we land this plane officially is I just asked AI. It had compassion. So I use Chat GPT to take notes and to do various administrative tasks. And I've noticed lately that it's such a yes man. Like to the point where I'm like, this is annoying. Stop telling me that all my ideas are perfect and amazing and great and wonderful and impactful, like stop. So I'm training my chat to push up against me and to find one thing that I might not have thought of and to really kind of filter what I say with a critical lens. And so I asked my chat, do you have empathy? And he's like, I have a guy, a guy voice. And he's like, That's so interesting. I've, you know, learned basically, he's like learned through the algorithm to how to sound empathetic, how to sound compassionate, right? And one of the things I was researching for this talk with you was the frequency of love and the frequency of compassion. So whatever hurts, love and compassion are, because I can't remember exactly what they are. I'm not like a remember the stats girl, as you already know. So I asked, what is the frequency of love and compassion? And Chad said, Well, nothing has been scientifically proven, but you know, there is this number, and I'm not gonna throw this number out because I don't know if it's right, but there is this number that's frequently associated with love and compassion, like basically the frequency and the resonance of the heart. And I said, So you're telling me that nothing has been scientifically proven, but the belief that the heart and that compassion and love resonates at a certain frequency, the belief of that is strong enough to make a difference in people's lives. Of course, Chat said yes, oh my gosh, you're so smart. No, he didn't say that. He didn't say that. But chat said, yes, that's kind of true. So if the belief, if our beliefs are what, if our beliefs are the things that are shaping our reality. Do you believe that you are electricity? Do you believe that the rate in which you vibrate at attracts beauty, grace, ease, joy into your life? Or do you believe that doesn't matter, not it's not proven, I don't really get it? Like, what do you really believe? And I'm inviting you this week to just ask yourself like what is that core belief of your life? Because when I say I believe we can change the world by starting at home, I have I have to look through that lens every single day in the ways that I show up and the activities that I choose to do, the people I choose to spend my time with. I have to filter everything through that. And it's interesting, I asked at the Rise and Flour Summit who wants to share their mission, their purpose, their belief in the world. And listen, it doesn't have to be the same format as mine. It doesn't have to be, I believe, you know, blah, blah, blah. It can be, I'm here to this, or, you know, my purpose in life is this, or my mission is this. Morning. And this is a good place to add, you can reserve the right to change your mind. Nothing has to be set in stone, nothing has to be perfect, you can change your mind tomorrow. How would your, but how would your, but how would your life shift? How would your life be different one year from now if you a belief statement, a North Star that you could come back to every single day on the hard days, the easy days, and everything in between to really stay anchored into what you want out of this one wild and precious life? How would you serve your people better? How would you show up for yourself better? How would your relationships be thriving? How would your health be flourishing? How would you be living your life day to day if you believed that you were here for a purpose? One of the tiny pieces of art I love in my home is this little wooden block. It's very tiny, but it says, perhaps this is the moment for which you were created. And every once in a while, as I'm like doing my daily tasks and like kind of going through the motions in the day, I'll see that little piece of art and I'll remember just for a moment who I am and what I came here to do. And the legacy I came here to leave. And I really believe there's a collective remembering happening now. There was a collective remembering happening in the room at Rise and Flourish. There's a need right now for humanity too, for us to remember that with so much trauma and divisiveness and struggle or death, you know, and I don't mean to laugh when I say that, but for so much of the agonizing things that are going on outside of our homes and our city, maybe we have a responsibility to take care of our side of the street. And that entails raising up to a certain frequency that you could call love, compassion, gratitude, joy, and staying in that frequency as much as we possibly can. Because that is the ripple effect. That is the ripple effect. That is how we change the world by starting at home.

Intro: 17:05

Alright, that's it for today. As always, thanks for being here, friend. Remember, changing the world starts in the small and soulful, the quiet and the mundane, around the dinner table, on walks, and most importantly, inside your own heart. Make sure you're following the podcast or subscribed on YouTube. And if you feel inspired right now, share the link to this episode with a friend or write a review on Apple Podcasts. It means the world. Until next time, take care of yourself and go love someone well.