The Only Money Mindset Conversation You'll Ever Need with Pericles Rellas

Today on THE 100TH EPISODE OF RWH(!!!!!), we're exploring personal relationships with wealth, generational mindsets, and the emotional blocks that hinder financial flow. Pericles Rellas, a money mindset expert is setting the record straight on where true wealth comes from, how we can work with our desire for more money, and so much more. Learn More about Pericles' work and Join his Masterclass on Resetting Your Financial Thermostat here!

Keywords
money, manifestation, financial mindset, abundance, happiness, generational beliefs, financial blocks, personal growth, wealth, parenting, wealth, money management, financial literacy, relationships, self-awareness, prosperity, personal finance, abundance, mentorship, communication
Chapters
00:00 Exploring the Taboo of Money Conversations
06:30 Unpacking Generational Mindsets Around Money
12:55 Shifting Perspectives: From Scarcity to Abundance
19:51 The Connection Between Happiness and Wealth
25:20 Strength Through Adversity: Financial Growth and Resilience
28:28 The Illusion of Wealth
32:26 Building a Healthy Relationship with Money
35:47 Navigating Financial Conversations in Relationships
41:00 Defining True Wealth
43:26 Transforming Challenges into Power
46:21 The Flow of Abundance
52:05 Lessons from Mentorship

🎧Yoto Player | Screen Free Fun for Kids
The audio player that makes screen free time easier. Choose from 1000+ cards, music or podcasts.

+Follow the Raising Wild Hearts Podcast: https://raisingwildhearts.buzzsprout.com/585529/follow

⭐️Write a Review for Raising Wild Hearts on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-wild-hearts-with-ryann-watkin/id1480064322 

Transcript

Copy Transcript Copied

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Instead of working on your budget, because we have a negative connotation for budget, it's like, oh, I hate a budget. You know, I hate what work on your prosperity. The fact that you called it your dream, I love that. This is, I work with a prosperity structure versus a budget. Because if prosperity structure is all about we're having now a conversation about creating our own prosperity versus how we're going to restrict how much we spend, which is what a budget leaves us with, right? Or we're going to work on our dream structure. The structure for fulfilling our dreams. These subtle, small changes in the language make a huge difference.

Ryann 0:44

Welcome to the Racing Wild Hearts podcast. I'm so glad you're here listening in as I get to the heart of the matter with the world's leading experts and authors in personal growth, transformation, positive psychology, and more. If you're a change maker, a cycle breaker, a revolutionary envisioning a more beautiful way to live, work, and play, well, me too. I'm your host, Ryan Watkin, and for the past decade, I've been alchemizing challenges to find the calm and the chaos. I believe we can change the world by starting at home in our own minds and hearts. And my hope is that these conversations are a light on your path. Let's go, wild ones. Okay, guys, welcome back to the show. This is Ryan, your host. And today, this, as you're listening, is the hundredth episode of the Raising Wild Hearts podcast. Yay! So join me in celebrating because today's conversation is all about abundance and wealth and money and happiness and joy. And I knew, like I knew, like I knew, like I knew that the hundredth episode would be the perfect episode to share with you guys. And I actually had thought about doing like a solo episode, kind of like recapping the show and where we've come from and where we've gone and where we're going. But this is even better because today I am joined by Pericles Rellis. For over 25 years, money mindset expert Pericles Relis has helped people create a healthy relationship with money and themselves by creating a powerful money mindset so they can live lives of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. Pericles has been featured on ABC, Yahoo Finance, CBS, NBC, and Fox News. But honestly, like you'll hear in this episode, none of that matters because what he brings to the table is so valuable and will be such a game changer and a life changer for you as you navigate your financial lives, whether you're single or you have a partner, or no matter what the situation is. And Pericles touches on many of the situations that we all face in our lives. And I have to tell you, this conversation shifted something for me in real time. Not only that, but preparing for this conversation allowed me to dive deep in some of the mindset blocks I was having around money, many of which I mentioned in the episode. And it's funny because we've never really talked about or done a deep dive on money or wealth yet on the show. And this may just be the first of many folks because this conversation is just pure gold. One of the things I love the most about this conversation was that we talk about happiness coming first, fulfillment coming first. That no amount of money in the bank, including like millions and billions, people will provide that source of safety or fulfillment or satisfaction, like the safety, fulfillment, satisfaction, love, joy, abundance that is available to you in this moment right now. Do you feel that? It's there. I know that it can be hard to access sometimes. I talk about it myself and my own blocks that I've had around this, waking up in a bad mood, feeling sorry for ourselves, feeling like we're victims of our circumstances. And I understand that. While that can be true in our lives, we can still choose and practice to live in joy and abundance every single day. And that is really the through line of this profound conversation. So please join me in celebrating the hundredth episode of the Raising Wild Hearts podcast by welcoming Pericles Rellis to the show.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Please note the opinions and perspectives of guests on the Raising Wild Hearts podcast do not necessarily reflect the views of Ryan Watkin or anyone associated with the Raising Wild Hearts podcast.

Ryann 5:30

Pericles, welcome to the Raising Wild Hearts Podcast.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

Ryan, thank you for having me on. It's a pleasure to be here.

Ryann 5:36

I am thrilled that you're here, and I have to start out by saying thank you because something happened to me while I was doing the prep for this interview. And I realized that I don't spend a whole lot of time thinking about money, reflecting on money, uh, really kind of getting to the nitty-gritty of why I am the way I am with money and manifestation and desire and all these things. And I've got like pages of just what is now just like a journal entry that was the prep for this interview. And I think this speaks to something that might be pretty universal, which is an avoidance of the topic altogether. And to set the stage, like when I was growing up, money was a little taboo behind closed doors. We didn't really talk about it. And then there was also this um pressure and stress feeling around it. And that was just the energy in the room that it was stressful and that there wasn't enough, and that when there was enough, it was what are we gonna do with it? And it was always just a little odd. And so now I am an adult with a husband and three children, and we decided about a decade ago that I would be a stay-at-home mom for our kids, and we've got three kids now, and um, that was a whole different ballgame in itself because I had to learn to relinquish control on having money come into my person personally, and that was weird. Um, and so now, a decade later, my baby is three and a half, and I'm considering like, okay, I get to contribute financially now. I get to really do this, and I'm having a little bit of a block because I've spent 10 years really like honing in this caregiver role, and I'm like crush, I'm nailing it. And now I'm going, wait a minute, different skill set, different way of opening myself up to let the money flow in. So that sets the stage to say, like, why is money so triggering? Why do we avoid it? And then what can I do to solve my problem of caregiver money or both?

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Wow, Ryan, what a great share. I mean, that's extraordinary that that so much opened up for you just in the conversation of money out of us, you know, scheduling this call. And I think what you're speaking to is something that many, many people deal with on a regular basis. And I'll call it our generational mindset around money. Your you described my life around money. When I was growing up, uh money was off topic. I use that exact word. It's taboo. We don't talk about it. And as kids, we pick up on what's going on with our parents. Our as parents, we like to think, ah, kids don't know. I'm keeping it from they know exactly what's going on. I was actually thinking this this morning. I was remember I was in a movie theater, and this little girl was sitting behind us, and she was, I don't know, maybe four or five, you know, and she leaned in and she's like, How are you? We looked at her and I said, I'm fine, how are you? She said, I'm fine. My mommy and daddy are getting divorced and they don't like each other anymore. And it was just so funny. These kids, they know what's going on in our lives. They may not articulate it directly to us as parents, but they know. So when you're stressed about money, when you're worried about money, when you're avoiding talking about money, they know. And so they pick up those vibrational frequencies and then they emulate it, and then they pass it on to their kids. And then there are also other opinions about money. Money's bad, money's hard to come by, money's the root of all evil. You have to work really hard if you're gonna be successful. All these things which don't necessarily have truth in them. They're simply things that we pick up that we pass on generation to generation to generation. So the fact that you started looking at the conversation about money, we brought it from that kind of background thing, taboo, as you said, to the foreground where, wow, what is my relationship to money? What do I think about money? What do I know about money? What do I not know about money? Suddenly opened up this whole world of money and how you relate to it. And that's one of the things I want to impress upon people the most is just thinking about it, just bringing it to the forefront of our conversation and bringing critical thinking to it can suddenly open up a whole new world in our relationship to it. So there were several things that we were talking about, blocks around money, there's a whole new relationship around money. Now that you're gonna, you're looking at now I want to bring money in, I want to now be somebody that earns and contributes financially. And I want to make sure I'm saying this very carefully. You've been contributing to your family in a very specific way and an extremely important way. And there are many families in today's world where we choose, okay, both are gonna be caregivers, both are gonna be financial contributors, one's gonna be the caregiver, and the other one's gonna be a financial contributor. Whether it's the man or the woman doesn't make any difference, or the man or the man and the man, or the man and the woman and a woman, it doesn't make any difference. But we take on those roles and we throw ourselves into them, knowing that the other partner is taking on their part. And sometimes we're single. So we've got to take on all of those roles. Then something happens and we take on a new role. And what do we do? And what you're starting to do is exactly the right first step, which is what is my relationship to money? What do I understand about it that may be incorrect or inaccurate or leading me down the wrong path? And then what do I do to expand that capacity around money? And it's kind of like saying, I think AA has this spot on. It's like declaring who you are. I'm Pericles and I'm an alcoholic, owning that, right? Or I'm Paracles and I'm an addict, or I'm an overeater, or I'm just ignorant around money, or I have very little knowledge around money, and I want to expand that. That suddenly gives us a sense of power. So thank you for sharing that again, and it's a great kind of opening salvo into this conversation.

Ryann 11:59

Yeah. Yeah. Something that came up, I love when you talked about kids and the little girl who's like, mommy and daddy are getting divorced because they just they know everything. And I remember once driving in the car with a friend. We I was like on a play date with a friend, and I said to the friend, my grandparents are rich. And my mom shot me this look, I mean, like a dagger. And I was like, Oh, that's bad to say. And so I think what I internalized from that, I don't know if it was like I internalized it's bad to be rich, but I think it was internalizing it's bad to want to be rich. It's bad to praise wealth and to outwardly say, like, abundance is it. And so I I then took on that very kind of quiet and you know, hush-hush thing, even just avoiding pulling up my bank account for many years, just to look of what's in there, you know, just altogether avoiding. And so now that I'm an adult, yay, you know, I like 42, you know, now I'm like, now I'm an adult. And I can really like just take responsibility for what is that? The the question that you mentioned is what is my relationship to money? And I think that's a good place for all of us to start to write in our journal to even just think about or think it on, you know, like meditating, but just thinking of like, what is my relationship to money? How do I feel when I have money? How do I feel when when money is scarce? How do, you know, and what's my relationship to scarcity? Am I coming at it from scarcity? And that's kind of this like balance that I have. Like, I want to talk about wanting more, desiring wealth, desiring abundance without coming from scarcity. How do we desire and want more without feeling like, oh, but it's not enough? You know, there's the blind.

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Yes. And and this is the perfect way to start to approach it. I think first off, going back to your example of my grandma's rich, and then your mom shooting that that darting look at that child could easily have interpreted that there is something wrong with being rich. Not just that we don't talk about money, because there's a reason we don't talk about money. It's bad, or it's wrong, or it's evil, or something like that. And I think in our culture there is certainly a through line of money is bad, money is evil. And when we really start to examine it, we realize, you know what, money isn't evil. Money isn't good. It's just money. However, it is a magnifier. It will magnify the personality traits that we embrace in our lives. So it's kind of like putting a magnifying glass over something. The magnifying glass isn't good or evil, it's just amplifying that which is already there. So if we're true to who we want to be, if we're true to who we say we are, I am a good person and I'm committed to leaving the world a better place, then we don't ever have to worry about how much money comes into our lives because that will what is what will be amplified. Now, we all have propensities to be good or evil. That's the choice we get to make in our lives. And we've seen examples on both sides of the fence. People who have lots of money who are horrible, people who have lots of money who are great. You get to choose who you want to be. Now, the next part of it is what are your thoughts, feelings, and emotions around money when not just when it's scarce or when you're trying to earn more, but just when you're talking about it. There, like you said, I can't even open my bank account online. I don't even want to look at it. Those are all indicators of what I like to call our financial thermostat. And that regulates, our financial thermostat regulates how much money we can earn, how much money we can keep, as well as our thoughts, feelings, and emotions around money. So to look at, well, what is my financial thermostat setting? We just have to look at how things are right now. How much am I able to earn? How much am I able to keep? And whenever I talk about money, whenever somebody else talks about money, or I start thinking about money, or I start engaging around money, what emotions show up for me? What thoughts pop into my head? What feelings do I have? So these are the things to look at. And then once we get clear about that, we can see, whoa, I'm always having a negative feeling or a negative conversation or a negative little voice in my head around money. I need to clear that out. That's a block in the flow of money. So money flows in a in a distinct way. It flows, it's a currency, so it flows like a current, like water or electricity or air, but it flows in a circle and we intersect that circle. So it flows to us, through us, and away from us, and background to us through us and away from us, and then there's a reservoir on the side that we get to keep. We oftentimes refer to it as a universal band of energy. Well, that a band flows in a circle. So we can have, because money flows in a circle, blocks anywhere in that flow are blocks everywhere in that flow. So we want to start to look at and see, well, what are the blocks in the flow of money coming to me and then clear those blocks out? What are blocks in the flow of money going away from me and clear those blocks out? What are the blocks flowing to that reservoir on the side and clear those blocks out? Now, some quick examples of blocks in the flow. Money is the root of all evil. That's a block in the flow of money coming to us. I hate the wealthy, or the wealthy are bad. People who have a lot of money got there by doing something bad. That is a block in the flow of money coming to us. We can't become that which we resent or that which we hate, right? So we want to clear those blocks out. And then blocks in the flow of money going away from us are I never like to spend money. I want to hold on to my money as long as I can. I hate paying taxes. I don't want to pay my fair share, right? Those are all blocks in the flow of money going away from us. And the reservoir on the side, I don't deserve it. I can never save money. I'll never have money. Those are all blocks in the flow going to that reservoir on the side. And so we want to start to notice them and then clear them out.

unknown 18:24

Yeah.

Ryann 18:25

Love that. Okay, so before we hopped onto this call, I we have a few different, a handful of different accounts in our uh bank, my husband and I. And I said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna change the name of one of our accounts to Vacation Fund. Because I heard you talking about like emergency fund just produces emergencies. And I was like, ooh, that makes so much sense. This particular account was called like backup checking. So that's like, if we need a backup, if we need a quick little boost in the week. But I was like, you know what? You know what's a way for us to never move money from that account again is to call it vacation fund. I just keep kind of storing in there and go, look at it. We've got money in our vacation fund. And that was like one small change and light bulb moment that I had from listening to you. I want to talk about happiness and money. One of the things I've always done, this is so funny, even since I was a kid. I've and I've never like said this out loud. It's so funny to say, but I've always like looked at, let's say I'm having this is actually a great example. It just happened a few weeks ago. I'm at this beautiful waterfront restaurant having this lovely meal with family, and it's abundant, and we're just like sitting there having fun. And then a yacht pulls up with this, I mean, just like this extravagant yacht with these finely dressed people and the champagne and the flowers on the table. And I found myself going, oh, they must be happier than me. And here I am having this gorgeous meal, this gorgeous celebration at this beautiful restaurant. And I'm looking at that yacht, going, well, they must have it better than me. And I I, you know, I caught myself because I I've been working enough on awareness that I'm like, oh, there's that again. And for years I've gone like, oh, I wonder where those people on that plane are going. They're probably going to do something really great. Oh, I wonder where those people in that Cadillac are. Oh, I wonder wonder if they're happy. They must be happier than me. So let's talk about happiness and money. What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Happiness. Absolutely, 100%. And I'll tell you why. This is not just from my my opinion, this is my experience. I've seen it, I've experienced it, I've lived it. I've in a previous iteration of my current life, I worked with billionaires. I worked with millionaires, I worked with billionaires. And one of the things that I noticed, this is not all of them, certainly, but there are many that I worked with personally who are miserable. They have literally billions of dollars, and every day is one disaster after another after another after another. On the private yachts, it's a nightmare. The food's wrong, the staff is wrong, the everything is wrong, everything is a problem. And it's not just it's wrong, it's a disaster because it's wrong. Private parties, private jets, all of the most amazing things that you can imagine in life. And it's just a nightmare. There is absolutely no sense of joy, happiness, or fulfillment. No sense of security either. One lawsuit after another, after another, after another. It's a constant barrage. Now, that's just one example of that on that side of the spectrum. Now, on the other side of the spectrum, I went to Thailand for First time to meet my in-laws two years ago. Thailand is known as the country of smiles. Now, when I first was doing research on it, I thought it was the country of smiles because they have so many amazing dentists there, right? And they have like people go there just for vacation and do their dentistry because it's amazing. But when I got there, I saw people who, and this is not a judgment, this is just an observation, who we could easily say are living in squalor. Just poor as poor can be. And they were so happy. And I remember there was this family of three. So there's a husband and his wife, and their little baby, who was probably, I don't know, one or something like that. And they had a little food cart not far around from where I was staying. And every morning I would get up and I'd go over and I would see them, I'd walk up, and they would just beam with joy and happiness. And even though there was a language barrier, we could interact and I could ask for what I wanted. And it was a it was so extraordinary to interact with these people every day who had so little. They were selling little, you know, skewers of meat and sticky rice, and they were so happy. And so the conversation is how are those people so happy and they have so little? And the other people have so much and they're miserable every single day. Well, it isn't the money. It's something else. Money, I mean, happiness comes from within. We expect money or think money is going to make us happy, is going to bring us joy. And so we jump on the hamster wheel of, well, if I make $100,000, I'll be happy. Still not happy. $500,000, still not happy. And then we get into the millions and the billions and we're still not happy. When we shed all of that and we actually get to a place where we're connecting with our higher self. And we look at a three-year-old or a five-year-old. And sometimes I'll look out my window and I'll see all the kids in the neighborhood playing, right? And they don't have to have toys. They don't have to have bikes. They just go out and suddenly they connect up and let's play hide and seek. Let's go dig a hole. Let's go do this. Let's go there. They have so much joy and happiness with very little. I don't care what their parents have, right? It's them out there playing. They're not having to have these big expensive toys. They just want to connect with our fellow with their fellow human beings, their fellow kids, and they want to play. And if we start to connect with that, our inner child, our higher self, shedding all of those years of opinions and thoughts and feelings and emotions that get piled on top. We get back to who we truly are. Suddenly joy and happiness is present right now in the moment. Then, when the money actually flows, it's a whole different conversation. We're not thinking, oh, now I've got money, I can be happy. We're thinking, wow, I'm already happy and I've got all this money. What am I going to do with it? Now what am I going to do with it? And the conversations around what I'm going to do with money, how I'm going to use it, how I'm going to interact with it, are completely different.

Ryann 25:20

I love that. I'm crying because, you know, hearing about this family who we would perceive as having nothing and having them just be this like beacon of joy. What a what a goal for us to be in life. Like what a goal for us to show up for ourselves first and then others just pouring out joy. Like no matter the external circumstances, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:48

Yeah. Yeah. And here we live in a society where we can't get enough storage units.

unknown 25:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

For all the stuff that we accumulate. Yeah. We just accumulate and accumulate and accumulate and accumulate. And yet we're still adding things to it. And the thing for me is as I've been doing this for a long time. And there's something that we are trying to accumulate things to compensate for or to get in our lives. And it's not that. It's we keep adding, hoping that joy and happiness and fulfillment will be there, but it's not. So we keep adding and adding versus shedding and getting to that place of I have enough because this is all I need. You know, and there are times when I think, like if I'm really exploring it, and I'm thinking about my dog Harry, who's sleeping behind me right now on the chair. He loves to just be leaning up against me. I could be on the streets. And as long as we're together, he will be happy. He doesn't care. He doesn't care what kind of house we live in, what kind of car we drive, what kind of food we eat, clothes, any of that. All he cares about is being connected with me. And if we can get to that place in our lives where we truly believe that, we truly have that, like, wow, I am really happy right now. We can live like those people in Thailand. Where they literally will get up and they think, okay, I need to earn five dollars today. That's all I need. And they go do what they need to do. They earn the $5, and then they're just doing their life. They're going, being with their families. They're they're with their friends, they're doing the things that they love. What an extraordinary way to live our lives. Completely freed up from the stress and the anxieties. Because a lot of people they think, oh, I'm okay, I'll stop worrying about money when I get to this place. Well, they get to this place, and okay, they're even more worried about it. Because how do I hang on to it? I gotta make even more. I've got all these things. I had somebody the other day, they have this big house, they've got all these things, and their kid came up to me and said, I just, I'm I'm going on a trip for something that I that I won, you know, like in a competition or a I can't remember what it is, sports or something. And I'm raising money to buy a ticket so I can fly there. And I'm thinking, your family has this huge house and they have all these things, and you can't afford to fly. And this is the world we live in nowadays, where we we have all these things that we accumulate, and yet we've got all this debt as well.

unknown 28:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:30

And so we're living on the burden of this debt, which we keep adding to because we're trying to get things to be happy. So we add to the debt and we add to the burden, and we've just we're in this vicious cycle.

Ryann 29:47

Yeah. It reminds me of like the hungry ghost that will never be satisfied. Like it will never be enough. And you know, over the last 10 years, like my husband and I, we've had like quite the journey. I mean, job loss, very challenging financial situations, the majority of the time, single-income family. I think back to when we decided that I would stay home with our first child, and he was making a pretty small salary, like in comparison to what we make as a family now. And we were down there with pen and paper. I mean, to the dollar, like, okay, diapers, okay, food. And we were like, we don't care what it takes, this is the priority. The family, the bonding with my baby just is the priority. And it's interesting because wouldn't you know, about four months after we had that conversation, I was eight months pregnant-ish. My husband got a job and doubled his salary. And I thought, well, I I played a part in that. Even though I'm not the one making the money, that to me was this um this manifestation process that we kind of gave it up to the universe. We said, this is what we're doing. We came from trust, we came from um this really like trusting abundant place, even though it was like $40 something thousand dollars we were making, whatever. And then, you know, he doubles the salary again, you know, five years or whatever it is. And, you know, there have been dips and valleys in that time. Like he had to, he got laid off and had to start a brand new career in the middle of 2020. And we all know how that was going anyway. And so, you know, there were struggles. And I wonder if, from your point of view, some of that struggle does provide a more solid foundation when we're talking about our financial lives. If we maybe have to go through that kind of punch in the gut to go, okay, like this is who I am, these are my priorities, like, and and maybe maybe it helps us in a way. What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 31:54

I do believe we get stronger through adversity. We can get stronger through adversity. There are some people they go through adversity and it makes them weaker, and they become the victim of adversity. In Japan, they have this extraordinary saying called wabi-sabi, where if something is broken, when they repair it, they don't try to hide the brakes. They actually highlight the brakes with gold to demonstrate that you are a better, stronger, more beautiful person now than you were before, because those are the things that allow us to grow and expand. When we go work out, we're actually tearing the muscle. But what happens is the muscle regrows and we get bigger muscles. And so when we tear, when something gets torn down like that, we have an option of are we going to allow this to have us become stronger and better, or are we going to become the victim of this? And we see that all the time. We see people go through things, and whatever that thing is, that's who they become for the rest of their lives. They're that victim, that persona that it will never change. And then other people go through the same thing, and yet it makes them stronger. It makes them a better person, a wiser person. This is exactly the road we get to choose. When it forks like that, we get to choose which road we're going to take. And you and your husband chose the path of, wow, this is gonna make us stronger. We're gonna trust the universe, God, whatever it is, is conspiring in my favor. This door just got closed, and I'm now looking for the next one to get open because the next one's even better. I've said I want X, and the universe is now providing it to me. I don't necessarily know how it's gonna look. This is where, this is where a lot of people fail in manifestation. They say, okay, I want to manifest. I'm gonna use this as an example. The perfect partner, the perfect partner, the perfect partner. And then they open their eyes and this person shows up. Oh, yeah, but they're too short. Oh, but they've got blonde hair. Oh, but they've got that, and we start killing off all the possibilities of the perfect person that keeps showing up in front of us. And then all of a sudden, we've shifted our vibrational frequency. We don't want the perfect person. We're not open to the perfect person. We're open to what we perceive as the perfect person. And when we are, and Abraham Hicks talks about this a lot, when we allow that perfect person to show up or that thing to manifest, we're open, our eyes are open to all the possibilities. We can look at all the options, we can engage with everything and then choose, rather than killing it off before we've ever even gotten in connection with it. You know, I want a better job. And somebody we don't necessarily like that much comes up to us and starts, oh, you know, they're working on the well, they may have had the perfect thing for us, but we just killed it off in a nanosecond, right? So these are all the things we want to start looking at. And when you guys were sitting down, you're like, okay, well, what are we gonna do? Most people don't do that. What they do is, oh my gosh, we don't want anybody to know. We got to still look good. So let's go buy that really nice car so everybody thinks that we're wealthy. Let's go buy the really expensive clothes so everybody thinks that we're wealthy. Meanwhile, our debt is growing and building. We have so many people in the culture that we live in, this social media culture where everyone wants to look, oh, I'm jet setting and I'm a player and I've got all this wealth. I promise you, the vast majority of those people are living in debt. They want you to think that they're wealthy, so they go into debt to get this persona. The question is, are you more interested in looking like you've got wealth and having tons of debt? Or are you more interested in I don't care what people think about me and I'm building wealth? When you flip that conversation and you don't care what people think, you truly don't care what people think. You will then make the choices that are going to have you build the wealth that you truly want every step of the way. I remember I was working with a client and she said, She didn't have any money. She was broke, and we were just starting to work together. And she said, Oh, my best friend's getting married on the East Coast and I have to go to the wedding. And I said, Okay, well, do you have money put aside for the trip? She said, No, I don't. I said, Okay, well, it doesn't sound like you should be going on this trip because you don't have the money. Oh, yeah, but I need to go. She's my best friend. I have to be at this wedding. Okay, well, why do you have to be at this wedding if you're gonna go into debt? No, no, no, I she's my best friend. So in her world, she was willing to go into debt to be at this wedding for her best friend. In my world, I would have called my best friend and said, you know what, Stu? I love you. You're my best friend. I want to be at your wedding. I don't have the money, dude. I don't have the money. And you know what Stuart would have said? He said, Pericles, totally fine. I know you're here in my heart. I'm my spirit. I would never ask you to go into debt to be here. That's not what this is about. What the best friend most likely wanted was to be able to have somebody there so they could say, Oh, she flew across the country to be at my wedding. It was more of that than it was, thank you for being here. Because any best friend would have said exactly what I just said, Stu would have said. No, absolutely not, do not come. It's not that. It's it look, I it's a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but I'm not gonna have you go into debt for it. That's not what this is about. I want you to take care of yourself. You'll be here in spirit. That's a best friend. Yeah, and those are the hard choices that we have to make when we're truly committed to growing wealth. Hey, let's go out to dinner. We're gonna go to a really expensive restaurant. I can't, I'm not gonna go. I don't have the money. Sorry. Oh, okay. Well, let's go somewhere else then. That's what a true friend says. What do you want to do? What can you afford? Let's do that. Because I just want to be with you. It's not about the restaurant.

Ryann 38:05

Yeah. It's interesting. That's such a testament to our relationships, too, and honesty and transparency. Uh, you know, I wonder if that person felt like the best friend would have been like, Well, you bitch, you're out that, you know, I mean, because there's some of that too. There, there's we don't we don't allow ourselves to really show people who we are because we don't even know who we are. You know, correct. I'm assuming, and I've been in this space before too, but the self-awareness to to really go like, I just I love you so much, but I I can't do it. It's not good for me, right?

SPEAKER_00 38:42

Well, it's all superficial and it's all about how we look, not about truly how we feel. And it's, you know, understanding. I this is one of the reasons I say that it's all about creating a healthy relationship with your money and yourself. And it's the yourself that's so much more important. I have money first because that's what most people are interested in. I want money, I want money, I want money. But when we start to dive into these conversations, we start to see that our relationship with money is a mirror of our relationship with the world and the people around us and ourselves. And when we start to see, oh my gosh, I'm just using money to look good. I'm just using money, and I don't even know what I'm doing. Uh I'm just trying to look like I know what I'm doing with money. I have no idea what's going on. And I like to use the analogy of imagine that you're relating to money the same way you're relating to a significant other. I want it when I want it. When I get it, I'm gonna show it off to everybody, and I'm just gonna look at all the money that I have. And when it's not there, I'm not thinking about it. I want I when I use it for whatever I need it for, I'm never appreciative of it, never thankful, never grateful. I expect it to provide things that it can't, that relationship would be over very quickly. And yet that's how we relate to money. That's how we interact with money, that's how we treat money. Well, now imagine if you were thinking about money when it's not there, like a significant other. Oh my gosh, I am just so happy they're in my life. I want to figure out how to be better in this relationship. I want to figure out how to create a future together. When they come into the room, you're oh, I'm so grateful you're here. I'm so happy. I'm so fulfilled, I'm so loved, I'm so in love. That's the way we want to relate to money every single day, because then money will want to show up in our lives. On a vibrational frequency, lights attract like. And so when we're vibrating at that frequency, more money is gonna show up. And then we're gonna know how to interact with that money. Look, none of us are experts at relationships. We get into a relationship, we have one of two choices. We're gonna do what we do automatically, and hopefully it'll work out. It may not be a great relationship. We see how those things go. Or, you know what? I'm gonna do what Jack Nicholson said, and as good as it gets, you make me want to be a better man. You make me want to be a better person. You make me want to be better with money, smarter with money, expand my capacity around money. Because I want to have this last forever.

Ryann 41:21

Yeah, that's good. That's good. I love that movie. So I love that line. I love that. It's so true, and this is a good segue into talking about relationships because when we come to the table with like two sets of luggage that, like, you know, their parents did this about money, and our parents did this, and then we come to the table as this kind of like melting pot of dysfunction a little bit. And you know, I've got my triggers up coming up, and he's got his truck triggers coming up, and we're sitting down at this weekly budget meeting, which, and I'm speaking for myself here, sometimes we'll end in some bickering, some fighting. We'll we'll walk away from the table more annoyed than when we sat down. And so, actually, something that my husband and I recently committed to was like kind of making this like a dreaming meeting, like our budget meeting, which is a very boring name for it. We're we're kind of turning that into like our dreaming, our vision meeting. Where do we want to see our money go? What do we want to be spending our money on? What are our priorities? Which right now, like on paper, our priorities are like family. We've got like private school tuition, da-da-da, you know, extracurriculars. We've got like these priorities, which you know, organic food. That's a huge, you know, we pay more than food than we pay for our mortgage, basically. Um and so we see our priorities, but two, like there are moments when we both are not coming at this conversation in our best way. So, what would you tell somebody listening right now who's like, well, I can do this, but what about my partner? And because it's all their fault, you know, because we do that good times. We can project our stuff onto them. And it in reality, like it can be hard to work with another person to be on the same page. So, what would you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_00 43:13

There are three financial thermostats in every relationship. So there's the one that one partner comes to the relationship with, and then the other partner, they each individually have their own financial thermostat. They own how much money they can earn, how much they can keep, and their thoughts, feelings, and emotions around money. And then there's a third one when they come together to talk about money that gets created over the time of them being together. Communication is the key. Okay, I'm really stuck and frustrated and upset right now. It's not about you, it's me. Owning that it's you, it's not them, it's never them, it's never anyone else, it's always us. We have to own our own triggers. We have to own when we get plugged in and when we start to react. Okay, you just said that has nothing to do with you, everything to do with me, and I'm I'm upset right now and I'm trying to figure out why. I just want to let go of being upset so we can get back to the conversation. So that communication is really important, and it's the most challenging because it's in our relationship. Those are the places where we can get very vulnerable very quickly, we can get very scared very quickly, and we can lash out very quickly and very easily. So going into it with that communication. The other thing I would suggest is I only work with a budget one time, and that's when I go on vacation. And on the vacation, I know I created a budget for how much I'm going to spend because I've got all that money in my vacation fund, which you were talking about earlier. I have a vacation fund. And when I'm going on vacation, I look and say, okay, how much is in that fund? Great. Now I'm not spending any more than that. And now I'm going to create the vacation and book the vacation, knowing I'm only going to spend that money. And I'm going to use a specific credit card where I'm going to get the most points or I'm going to get the most cash back so I get a Bonus by spending money I was going to spend anyway. I put it all on that card and I never go over. And then when I come home, I pay that car off card off. And so now I'm on vacation knowing I don't have to worry about how much it's costing because I know exactly what I'm I've set aside to spend for every single thing, and it's exactly how I want it to be. Now, instead of working on your budget, because we have a negative connotation for budget, it's like, oh, I hate a budget. You know, I hate what work on your prosperity. The fact that you called it your dream, I love that. This is, I work with a prosperity structure versus a budget. Because if prosperity structure is all about we're having now a conversation about creating our own prosperity versus how we're gonna restrict how much we spend, which is what a budget leaves us with, right? Or we're gonna work on our dream structure, the structure for fulfilling our dreams. These subtle, small changes in the language make a huge difference.

unknown 46:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 46:07

Right? I want to have a conversation with my significant other about how much I love you and how we can expand and go to the next level. Versus, you know what, you're doing some things that are really pissing me off.

unknown 46:20

Don't say that ever to anybody.

SPEAKER_00 46:23

No, I know, but but these are the things that we we as in a dynamic of a relationship, we don't realize that we're saying. And when we're in communication, you know what, when you say that, it really upsets me. Now I gotta be responsible 100% for that it upsets me. But if my significant other can then be aware of that and say, okay, I know when I say this, he gets upset. So I'm not gonna use that languaging anymore. I'm gonna try something else. That way we're both working on it together. It's a I always relate to a relationship is 100% me. 100% me. And hopefully it's 100% for them as well. But when we come together, we're both approaching it from 100%. I never have to look at it like, oh, well, that's your responsibility. No, we're gonna have this conversation where I'm 100% responsible. And you're gonna hopefully gonna be having that same conversation. So when we approach it from that perspective, we can move through challenges a little bit more easily.

Ryann 47:21

Yeah, that's brilliant. What is wealth to you? Like we've mentioned the word quite a bit in this conversation. If you could like put it in a nutshell, what would wealth mean to you?

SPEAKER_00 47:35

Joy, happiness, fulfillment, and love. All of those things combined. That's what true wealth is. Like that family in Thailand at the I would look at them and say they have what true wealth is. They have what true prosperity is. That's living a prosperous life. Now we can then add on to that having a lot of money and being able to buy nice things and or expensive things. And going back to your yacht experience, you know, we have no idea what the relationships of those folks are. We don't know how many of those people were yes people or sycophants or just miserable in their own lives, and all they're interested in is how other and this is not for every not everyone. I'm not labeling everyone with money in in this way, but we don't know what their life looks like. I've seen many of them in those interactions, you know, sitting down with a billionaire, literally on the Forbes list, billionaire, having dinner and hearing them say, Oh, there's just never enough money. How is it possible that someone who has that much money could have those words fall out of their mouth, and yet there it is? Right? So it's all about wealth and prosperity. Are are you thriving in your life? And are you do you have the things meaning love, joy, happiness, fulfillment, a sense of enough? I have enough in my life right now. Doesn't mean I don't want to create another goal for myself to achieve. It just means where I am right now, I can be happy. Try manifesting from there. Whoa, it's gonna be a whole different world. Versus, I don't have what I want, I gotta manifest better, I hate where I am, I gotta manifest better. Never gonna happen. But if we can be in that space and love our lives right where we are, find the things in our lives that we love right now. And look, and I know there are people out there dealing with some very challenging things. If you allow the challenges to have you, the challenges will win and run the show. But if you're someone who's got power and you have the challenge, then you have the power. I this distinction about grief or love or joy or or fear or whatever it is. I right now, grief has me. Something tragic happens and I'm grieving, grief has me. And there are moments when that happens, you know, where we're crying and it's just we're overwhelmed with it, and it's got us. And we move through it however we move through that grief. And there is no one way of moving through grief. There's only the way that works for you. And then we get to a place where the grief no longer has us. Now I have the grief. I can function. I still have grief, but I can function. I can do the things that I'm committed to, I can still move forward, continuing to release and let go of and move through the grief, but I have the grief. Same thing with anger. Ooh, the anger's got me right now. I'm not gonna make any choices, any decisions, any conversations. And then we get to a place where, okay, I have the anger. Now I can powerfully deal with it. So we want to move from those places of where something's got us in its grip to we just have that in our lives.

SPEAKER_03 50:57

Yeah.

Ryann 50:58

Yeah, this conversation has been so expansive for me. Um, this it's a game changer. I already feel it like working behind the scenes in my own life, and I know this conversation will be so helpful for so many. Um, one of my biggest takeaways that I just want to like pin here for everybody because it just landed so deeply for me was that money is a magnifying glass, it's amplifying what's already there. One of the prayers that I've been saying in the morning for my with my meditation. I've been in a meditation practice for about, I think I'm in my 11th or 12th week. And it's, you know, so I'm a quarter into this. I feel I feel like I'm a different person. It's now becoming my identity. I wake up to meditate, and it's, you know, it meditation isn't the thing for everybody. Maybe your thing is a run or a reading a good book or whatever it is. For me, it's really resonant. And one of the prayers I've been saying is something along the lines of like aliveness, like that feeling of just aliveness to all, abundance to all, brilliance to all, radiance to all, love to all, ease to all, creativity to all. And I'm putting out what it feels like is that I'm just like putting out to everybody. I'm not gripping it for myself. I'm not saying there's only so much creativity to go around, there's only so much ease to go around. I'm just like, give it to everybody, God. Like, let's all have this flow in our lives. And to me, that's so much of what this conversation is about showing up for our lives on a daily basis in ease and grace and abundance. And that for me is it's just practice because I know that we can get in the habit of waking up and being grumpy. Like I had that one day this week where I woke up and I was like, oh, I'm just grumpy. Shoot, I'm grumpy. And you know, I let it, I let the grumpy just kind of flow through, and and the next day it was gone. And so I just think this conversation is a game changer. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is so, so impactful. Where can we find you, follow you, and learn more about the amazing, abundant work you're doing in the world?

SPEAKER_00 53:35

Well, thank you. I really appreciate it, Ryan. I've absolutely love this conversation as well. And there are two places people can go to my website. I have two websites. They both go to the same place, paracleserelis.com or reset your financial thermostat.com. They both go to paraclesrelis.com. And right there on the top, main page, is a link to my free masterclass where I go through in great detail the four keys to resetting your financial thermostat and allowing you to start to create that true wealth and prosperity that you want.

Ryann 54:11

Yeah, love that. Everybody go do that. I'm gonna do that. I think that's so, so helpful. All right. As we start to officially wrap up, I'm going to ask you the three questions I ask everybody at the end of the interview. And the first one is what's bringing you joy today?

SPEAKER_00 54:29

Oh, wow. Well, I just have to say, again, it always comes from here, but on an external basis, the joy that I'm I'm experiencing in this very second is Harry, my little one, just I I could show you my. I don't know if you'll I'll just tip my camera here. Yeah, see him right there, sleeping behind me. He just loves to chair. Yeah, he hops up early early in the interview. I just kind of shift it a little bit, and he hops up and he leans and he just leans into me and he just does this little and it's just such a sound of joy and happiness. And so I I get so much joy out of my connection with him. So, and this conversation as well certainly brings so much joy to me.

Ryann 55:17

Me too. I heard something recently, I've mentioned it on the pod before, but that when dogs wag their tail, they've like measured their vibrational frequency somehow, and they're actually like vibrating in the frequency of love. So every time I look at my dog with his little tail wagging, I'm like, look at you, you little love bug. They're so loving, they're so oh, they're amazing.

SPEAKER_00 55:43

It's said that they live shorter lives because they they learn how to love unconditionally much faster. Oh, and so they've learned the the the the lesson of life, and so they move on because there's no need for them to hang out any any longer, but anyway. I'll cry myself if I go too far down that path.

Ryann 56:04

Totally, oh my gosh, I'm crying again because it's oh, yes, okay, dogs, I'm with you. Yes, okay. So, what if anything are you reading right now? What's on your book?

SPEAKER_00 56:14

Oh, I have it right next to me. It is the um Dhamma Pradada, which is the the life of the Buddha and some of his lessons. You know, I'm always studying new philosophies, new doctrine. Anything I I feel, you said this earlier. It's like, you know, for you right now, it's meditation works. There is no one right answer for everyone. There's only the right answer for you right now. And whatever that is, pull it towards you. And then when it's run its course, find the next thing. And right now, there was something that inspired me about this. It came across me, I can't even remember how it came across, but I got the book and I've been reading it, and it's just extraordinary. Just I'll read a paragraph and I'll have to sit with it. And in the morning, I'll just sit with it and think about it and how it uh it applies to me and my life and what I'm working on right now.

Ryann 57:03

I love that. I love that. Grab something and hold on to what's working for you right now and then let go of it. It doesn't have to look a certain way.

SPEAKER_00 57:12

Right. It doesn't have to be the answer forever. And I think people get frustrated by that. They, but it, but it was working. Meditation was working, it's not anymore. And then we've tried to force it when it's run its course. You know, it it came into our life for the purpose that it needed to come into our life. We've we've allowed it to provide for us what it needed to provide, now let it go, and then allow the next thing to come into your life so that we can grow to the next level.

Ryann 57:43

And that's similar to what I'm how I'm understanding it is this flow of money. It's similar to letting it kind of energetically flow through away and back to us, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

Exactly. Yeah, yes, because you know, anything is in that circle as well. Love is in that circle as well. Love flows in a circle. Where are we blocking love coming to us? Where are we blocking love going away from us? Joy, happiness, confidence, self-respect. Where are we blocking self-respect? Where are we not showing self-respect? And so those are all it's a model we can map on to many different areas of our lives and look to see where we're blocking it, either coming to us or going away from us, so that it flows more freely and abundantly in our lives.

Ryann 58:30

So good. So good. Okay, the last question I have for you is who or what has taught you the most?

SPEAKER_00 58:38

Oh man. You know, I think for anyone, let me take that back. For me, it is the first true mentor that I had. Her name was is Candace. And she was my when I first started my journey, where I went from this outward world to really looking inward and seeing what and who I am and what my place in the world is as I connect with my higher self. Candace was the one who guided me on that journey and was an extraordinary and is an extraordinary human being in my life, and I will be forever grateful to her. There are many other people, but she was the foundation. I wanted to be just like her. I strive to be just like her, and she is someone I hold up with the highest of esteem.

Ryann 59:32

That's beautiful. It sounds like she gave you a reflection of what you are and the greatness that was inside of you that you just had to access by going within.

SPEAKER_00 59:44

Yes, exactly.

Ryann 59:45

Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you again for this conversation.

SPEAKER_00 59:49

Ryan, thank you for having me on. It's been an absolute pleasure.

Ryann 59:54

Hi again, friend. If you're listening to this, you made it to the end of a raising wild arts episode. Yay! Make sure you're subscribed to the podcast so you can hear more amazing conversations just like this one. And here's the deal: if you made it this far, go ahead and hop down on your podcast app and rate and review the show. Your words and five stars truly mean the world to me. Thank you for your support of the show. Thank you for showing up and listening week after week. I will be dropping new episodes every Monday. So tune in then, and I will talk to you soon.