Raising Wild Hearts

Emotional Support in Motherhood Through Movement with Beth Sandlin

Ryann Watkin

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 On this episode, with Beth Sandlin, we uncover the profound connection between physical activity and our emotional landscape. As Beth and I exchange stories, we reveal how embracing exercise isn't just about building strength or endurance, it's a form of healing, a path to emotional release, and a cornerstone in the challenging journey of motherhood and trauma recovery.

💕Learn About Beth's Revolutionary Program—Trifecta Pilates— Here💕

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Speaker 1:

I realized my workouts were so much more than for my physical health, so I could keep up with my kiddos. It really was regulating for my mood and my emotions and beneficial for mental health. And, of course, now we have research to back this all up.

Speaker 2:

Welcome, revolutionary mama, to the Raising Wild Hearts podcast. I'm Ryan Watkin, educator, mom of three, rebel at heart and passionate soul, on a mission to empower and inspire you.

Speaker 2:

Here we'll explore psychology, spirituality, parenthood and the intersection where they all come together. We'll discover how challenges can be fertile soil for growth and that even in the messy middle of motherhood, we can find magic in the mundane. Join me on my own personal journey as I talk to experts and share resources on education, creativity, self-care, family, culture and more. I believe we can change the world by starting at home, in our own minds and hearts, and that when we do, we'll be passing down the most important legacy there is healing, and so it is. Hello friends, welcome back to the Raising Wild Hearts podcast. Today I've got an interview I'm sharing with Beth Sandlin.

Speaker 2:

Beth is a Pilates instructor for people who want effective and fun at-home Pilates workouts. Through her YouTube channel and online program, she's here to inspire you to take aligned action to workout and wellness goals while making every step feel like your favorite obsession. When she's not teaching Pilates, she can be found reading a good book, baking or camping with her family. This conversation was so cool because, while we do talk a lot about movement exercise workouts, it's really interesting that we talked a lot about motherhood and trauma healing and how it's all kind of interconnected. I mentioned in the episode when I first started practicing yoga some of you have heard me say this before I, for many years, couldn't do a class without crying, and so we double click on that mind-body connection a little bit and that releasing of old emotions, which is something I love to talk about, because, as you already know, I found on my journey that I've realized that feeling my emotions is one of my superpowers, and we can't feel without feeling into our body and how our body's feeling on certain days.

Speaker 2:

So we talk about a ton in this episode. We talk about cyclical living, we talk about nervous system and its relation to our workouts, we talk about Beth's business, trifecta Pilates, and we dive into Beth's personal journey. She got a cancer diagnosis at 20 years old and that's really what started her journey into personal development and finding the joy in everyday life, and so her story is very inspiring. She's got some very practical and grounded tips for working out exercise body movements. Yes, let's get into it. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. Hi, beth, welcome to the Raising Wild Hearts podcast.

Speaker 1:

Hi Ryan, I'm so thrilled to be here.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I'm so excited you're here and I'm really excited to talk to you. In one of your bios I read I'm here to squeeze every drop of joy out of life and share that with you, and I just, I like, had to do a double take on that sentence because I'm like, what a great mission to have, like squeezing the drops of joy out of life. Where did that come from?

Speaker 1:

I think it really came from when I was 20 and was diagnosed with cancer and I realized if I was going to be fat, I wanted to enjoy my life and not go back to my old patterns of stressing over the small things in life, which, yes, I actually did go back to my old patterns of stressing over the small things in life, which, yes, I actually did go back to those old patterns.

Speaker 1:

But it was a lesson learned and I just had to keep kind of revisiting. I am here because I want to feel good in my body, have fun in everyday life and not just wait for that like dream beach vacation but enjoy the simplicity of every day. And I know many times when we have kiddos that can be challenging and it was a reframe like I had my kids because I wanted to support them and I want to enjoy their little funny moments, even when sometimes frustrating at times. So it really goes back to when I was 20 with cancer and then just I've had continued kind of insights of, yeah, I need to reconnect to that joy.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so you were diagnosed with cancer when you were 20. Did you have like the cliche life flashing before your eyes kind of a thing? Was it a moment where you were like I can live or I can die, and if I'm like, if I'm gonna die, I want to live. Well, you know, did you have that kind of?

Speaker 1:

that kind of thought go through your head. I mean, 20 is pretty young too. It was, yeah, it was very young. And my actual thought was I knew hands down, this was going to be. I didn't know if it was going to be quick or like approximately two years. And that's because I had leukemia and I had a childhood friend who had died from leukemia and I didn't know that there were different types of leukemia and obviously there were a lot of advances in what we know about the body and treatment for leukemia and coming to find out I had a much different type than he did. So it was just it's over, like this is it? And quickly thereafter they told me actually this is not it, you will live through this. It wasn't fun to live through at the time, but it also really changed my life to support the mission of finding joy and pleasure in everyday life and the work that I do today.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. So how do you find joy and pleasure in everyday life? Give us the secret to life, you know, I know, for me it boils down to presence. Like I was like cleaning up diarrhea this morning from like one of my children's beds, like and I was like I can choose to like make this a crappy day, no pun intended, or I can choose to still like kiss my little guy and like how you know, just like I can choose so for you. How are you living that every day?

Speaker 1:

I think it is a matter of putting things into perspective and let's just go on with a bodily fluids theme for right now. It was when Thanksgiving and my daughter is like I'm not feeling well, I'm not feeling well and I thought, well, of course you just ate a little bit too much. And laying on the couch, post glow from Thanksgiving, and she just comes over and vomits all over me. Post-glow from Thanksgiving, and she just comes over and vomits all over me. And now she goes into the story. Remember when you didn't listen to me, mom, I said, well, there was a toilet in the bathroom you could have gone to. And so I think it's knowing that those challenging moments oftentimes turn into, in the long run, favorite memories. And I realized that I wanted to have joy with my kids and have that lead rather than frustration or anger or other negative emotions that come into play. And one support story that my husband actually offered me was when I was in the bathroom with my kids. I don't know exactly what was going on, but clearly they were frustrated, frustrating me, because he walks in the bathroom and says I think you need to take a break and he just like, slowly takes the hairbrush out of my hand. Probably it was something they weren't letting me brush their hair or something like that and I left the space and I thought that's not what I want my relationship with my kids to be. And, interestingly enough, it actually tied into why I am such an advocate for moving our bodies through movement, because during that time, for about two weeks, I hadn't really been consistent with my workout program and I realized my workouts were so much more than for my physical health so I could keep up with my kiddos. It really was regulating for my mood and my emotions and beneficial for mental health. And, of course, now we have research to back this all up, and so it goes into just. I want to have positive memories that I'm fostering with my kids and where we laugh things off when we do get frustrated sometimes, and that's really been a such a powerful shift, not only for me but for my entire family. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 1:

How old are your kids now? They are teenagers, and I actually have one who is just graduating high school this year, and I actually have one who is just graduating high school this year. However, I remember when they were little and I always knew they are who they are meant to be right now and I want them to explore their most authentic version of themselves. And for those of you who have very strong-willed children, like I do, that's a very challenging to support, especially if maybe you're also strong-willed. It's like I mean, I had to kind of let go. I really had to let go of perfection, and what I felt like was like going to be my perfect mom moment, and it was let them wear whatever they want. I mean, one time my kid was just leopard like, literally from head to toe, rolling a suitcase with leopard print, and some people will be like why do you want to dress like that? It doesn't matter, she enjoys it. And guess what? Now, like, she loves fashion and has a passion for that, and so I really had this shift of okay.

Speaker 1:

Wherever life stage they're at, sometimes it can be incredibly frustrating and challenging.

Speaker 1:

I mean, I've been there with homework, drama and trying to manage that, and what I realized is, you know, if they are actually acting out with me, that's so beautiful that they're putting their trust in me, because what I found from their teachers is that they were many times more of the model student, and one of their teachers once said this is my older daughter's first grade teacher.

Speaker 1:

I've realized that the kids who are like very responsible in class, many times at home seems like their parents are having a really hard time and struggling. And she said I can't help but think that's because they're holding it together so much like for me, for their classmates, that they just feel safe and need that time to kind of unwind. And that was such a helpful message to hear from her teacher, luckily in first grade rather than 10th grade to really just how can I support them when they're having a bad day and they don't always come home and be like mom I had a really bad day. It's instead lashing out or just going into their room and needing time alone and not always talking through.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's so interesting. I resonate with that deeply. I also have at least one strong-willed children and I too am strong-willed and I find that when I'm trying to control my external circumstances, aka my children, is something internally in me doesn't feel safe or is telling me a story or an old belief is coming up and it really has nothing to do with them. It's just my sense of safety, being able to control my external environment, you know. And two I mean I think this is a good place to say like we can allow our children to come home and, you know, play out this hard day they've had and be like the calm, soft place for them to land. Or we can be hard asses and get into a screaming match and potentially like rupture this relationship that we might never have with them. Like that, honestly, that's like there's a fork in the road, babe, like if your kid's coming home and giving you a hard time. I mean you've got two choices, like there might be a little gray in the middle, but really like you've got two choices preserve the relationship and be a soft place or, you know, try and control them to to, which isn't going to work anyway, trust me. Like it's not. So, yeah, I'm so glad you shared that. That's just it's important for us to hear.

Speaker 2:

I don't think we talk about the challenges all that much of parenting in regular spaces. I think it's all like kind of how are your grades, how's sports, how's this? It's all these external achievements and I think when I was growing up that's what I focused on, like oh, the A's and the extracurricular activities, and then when I got to a certain point it was like the partying instead of like really knowing who I was. So that's my hope for my kids and I've said this a lot recently on my interviews is to have a really strong sense of authentically who they are, you know.

Speaker 1:

I really do, and that's something that I've always wanted to support my kids with, as well as who they are. And what's interesting is they've been different since I was carrying them in my womb right, like they had kind of a different personality the moment they were born, and same thing it's. How can we foster that? And it's not always by shutting down the emotions and trying to have this like perfect environment, and I always think, you know, I have really bad days too and sometimes I'm not at my best. And what I have actually incorporated a lot which I think has really helped our relationship with my kids is I apologize when I make mistakes, and this is something I just don't see. I think we saw modeled many times when we were growing up.

Speaker 1:

If I have a bad day or, you know, sometimes, yes, I have yelled at my kids in the past I go and apologize and say that was really uncalled for, I'm sorry, I was really frustrated. This is what's going on and it doesn't excuse the behavior, but it also lets them know I am not perfect and I'm going to be making mistakes, and allowing for that, I think, has been a really good role model where we can take time to allow us, as parents, to be human, and also our kids feeling and experiencing those wide ranges of emotions. And what I was realizing is, if I was saying sorry for the same thing consistently, that was an indicator that sorry is no longer good enough. I have to make a change in my behavior and not only my kids' behavior, like I can't expect my kids to model behavior that they don't see, and so sometimes it's. I need to take a break and why I go out and move my body and why I like to do things just for myself sometimes. And I get it that we are taking our kids to school and supporting them with their after school activities and that kind of.

Speaker 1:

We get lost sometimes in that and what I realized is, if I wanted to show up, fully present for them, I needed to show up for myself as well. And I also had this understanding like they're not going to be children forever. We may be in the kind of messy middle right now. Be children forever. We may be in the kind of messy middle right now where it feels like when are we going to get past this stage? We will.

Speaker 1:

They also know they're going to be adults at one point and I want them, even when they have a lot of other commitments, to always have some time and space for themselves. Which is why I've been modeling that, because what we know from research is we can tell our kids to act or behave a certain way, but it's what they see on a day in and day out basis. So, like when my daughter came down in the basement today, can you sign this note for me? Yep, give me a couple seconds to finish up what I'm doing with my workout and then I can support you. That. That's, I think, just such a helpful example to set for them.

Speaker 2:

Totally, totally. We don't want them to grow up into adults and just be putting everybody before them. We see, often and honestly, it can feel like an easy, default decision to make. We see, I see so many moms walking around with the strollers and the kids and you know we can see the mom who's like putting the kids first. I've been that mom and you know periodically go through stages of that for whatever reason, like the seasons in my life.

Speaker 2:

And I want to circle back around to something you said. You talked about movement. Obviously it's your expertise. So I want to talk about feeling and experiencing in our bodies. Because for me, let me give you a little bit of a background I started practicing kundalini yoga about seven years ago and at first I couldn't practice without crying.

Speaker 2:

So every time I would go to yoga, every time I would get on the mat just full on puddle of tears. For years I'm talking years. Now I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I can do yoga without crying, it's great, I love it. And what I boiled it down to was like I had never truly been embodied. There was like this, this sense of like landing or maybe like, maybe like the, the descent back into my body, you know, and doing that, I had to like open up this capacity to feel all the things, and I didn't even know what I was feeling. It wasn't like oh, I'm crying because I'm sad about X, y, z. It was like just the tears would come. So talk to us about movement as it relates to feeling in our bodies being embodied, maybe like past trauma, all the things.

Speaker 1:

Thanks so much for bringing that up and sharing your story as well, because when people do cry whether it's yoga or they've done it so many times. I know I've done it in Pilates as well Sometimes there's this concern like, oh my gosh, I'm doing something wrong. But actually it is quite common and that's because we know that movement can be so healing and part of that healing journey is really messy. We don't like going through it. Sometimes it's not. You know that joy. Sometimes we have to go through the muck to get there. And I remember my husband asked me once like you are crying so much, like this past year, are you sure you should keep reading these books and doing these movements? Like this is actually part of my process. Yeah, like you. It was like I don't exactly know what's going on, but I still feel safe and I just know I need to stay on this path.

Speaker 1:

No-transcript, because we were told just hold it in, don't cry. You know, or give you something to cry about. You know, not now is not the appropriate time that we do tend to bottle up emotions and it is just such a set pattern and for so many people who I've worked with and myself as well, the concept of feeling into the body can be like, what are you even talking about? Like just tell me where to feel it and I will feel it there. But it really is a deeper understanding that for just takes time. I'm going to say this simple is just going to take time. For some people it may take a couple months. For other people it may take a lifetime. And what I encourage us to do when we think about feeling our emotions through movement or in another way, is just take the timeframe off of it, and then it has to be one way, because it really is such a personal journey and when we think we're doing something wrong, it's actually very constricting for our body and then we won't explore, and for most of us, we love our children to explore. We're enrolling them in all sorts of new activities or let's try this new playground with all those fun new contraptions and we don't think about how we want to include exploring into our own life as adults too and being curious with that.

Speaker 1:

One other thing I think that is really valuable about exploring our own emotions, emotional landscapes, whether because of past trauma or stress, is that it actually helps support our children, and so I distinctly remember one time my daughter was so angry at a friend and the anger was just coming out of her and what it was was not anger, she was incredibly hurt, and we know that anger so many times is a mask for sadness and hurt. It's like our protective shield and what I wanted her to experience was at least with me to feel safe, to acknowledge that, because unless we acknowledge it, then that anger can build, and I know that's from personal experience. I carried that shield for so long and it was so incredibly heavy and it's an easy default mode that so many people rely on. So I just encourage people, whether it's through yoga or Pilates or taking a walk outside, whatever it may be, to really tune into, when we are moving our bodies, what is going on, that presence which you were talking about earlier.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I love that and you know, I think this is a good place to mention not needing to change it. Like you kind of hinted to that of like it's going to take, how long it takes. And you know, sometimes I'm like, when is my personal growth journey going to be done? Can I be done with this? Yet, universe, I'm done. Check, please. Like you know, I'm like, and you know there's like this balance of both, like there's you gotta kind of wade through the muck and feel the feelings. And then there is a time too when you can like come up for air and feel the joy and like expand the capacity for the joy. It's not all about the crying, the sadness, but there is that too. So, like knowing where you are in that, oh, I love that.

Speaker 2:

So, for somebody who knows they need to move their body and they don't asking for a friend, let's talk about that person. No, it's me, because I know that walks make me feel good. If I go on a walk every single day, I'm good, I'm happy. I moved my body, I'll walk fast. It's not like a super intense exercise, but it does just feel so good for me. And right now I'm like walking two, maybe three days a week and I'm like I really need, I like I need to be walking seven days a week and yet something comes up and there's an excuse here and an excuse there. So like talk to us about those excuses and like putting it for another time, like letting it go to the end of the list, like, in your opinion, is it the number one thing on the list? Is it like get up at 5 am and move your body because it's the most important thing? Or how do you like intertwine a daily rhythm and a daily balance with movement?

Speaker 1:

I think that it's going to change. That's been my personal experience and how a lot of people who I work with as well has thrived as not being stuck with what used to work really well in the past. And by no means do I advocate shortening our sleep because that's so essential. I'm not an early bird, so I'm not going to be getting up at five o'clock to work out, and it means that sometimes it's going to be something different, much shorter in a different environment. And I distinctly remember there was a few turning points. One was I tried to figure out okay, I'm working full time now, my, I want to spend time with my kids. I'm going to take my kids to the park and work out with them. Like we see, park workouts are great, and my child said she was maybe four at the time Mom, can't you just play with us and not work out? And oh my gosh, it was uh, it was very hard. But it was also a lesson learned that if workouts are important, I need to carve specific time away and have time and engagement with my kids. And here's the thing If I'm playing at the park with my kids, it is physical activity. It doesn't need to be a formal workout when I'm playing roundies with them and chasing them and going up and down the slides. That is beautiful, diverse movement for our bodies that sometimes we discount because we want to complete, like our challenge, whatever we're doing.

Speaker 1:

And side notes, one of the reasons why I stopped doing challenges because they aren't sustainable. Sure, we can do a seven day challenge or even a 30 day challenge, but it's kind of like grin and bear it, just push through when it's just going to be done and then you kind of go back to your old way. So that was my aha, that okay, I need to reassess what's going on. And I was very back and forth my workouts for some time and I decided 10 minutes every day that's what it's going to be, whether it's 10 minutes of Pilates, walking, a combination and just carving out time consistently was really helpful. And that time varied maybe a little bit earlier in the morning. Lunch break was when I did that. When I was working at the university I'd take about half my lunch to move. Another time that I would move my body is I would come home from work, pick up the kids, take them to their activity and, rather than sitting in the car and scrolling on my phone. I go for a walk in the park or I do something a little bit more challenging like an interval in the park.

Speaker 1:

Now my kids are older, so it's a different life stage where I'm still with them with their activities, but I'm not engaging in with them in the same way compared to when they were in elementary school. So I encourage us to look at what season of life we're in and what works now, because I tried to hold on to what worked in the past and it was incredibly frustrating and demotivating and I kept thinking something's wrong with me. I'm just not motivated, I am not prioritizing it, but really it was the life stage I was in. So that's why I look to let's focus first on what people enjoy doing. And if you don't know what you enjoy doing yet, I know you said you like Kundalini, yoga and walking so amazing. But for other people like, what do you enjoy doing?

Speaker 1:

And when it comes to working out, I didn't always enjoy working out. I mean, it was so bad in middle school I just avoided my PE class at all costs. I would have never thought I'd be dedicating my life to spreading the joy of life through movement. So I know it's a possibility because I've had that personal transformation. I think what was really helpful was getting rid of, you know, the hardest and longest class and making it a little bit more manageable and then slowly adding on when it makes sense. But even today I'll scale back that dial of intensity, whether in how challenging the workout is, and it could be because of my nervous system is in a different energetic state and it's not going to appreciate something more challenging. So I need to do something a little bit lower key stretching, or maybe a short walk and I'm not talking like a power walk, I'm talking just like a nice short walk outside, and other times it's going to be something more vigorous.

Speaker 2:

There's so much goodness there. I love that, and what came to mind one of the things was like a dance party on the kitchen floor for 10 minutes, cause that's, you know, my kids will be playing the music and just like kind of everybody's moving around. And sometimes it's like a really big source of joy too, like everybody's connecting and laughing together, and so that's a really easy one, especially if you have little kids, like my little toddlers over there with his little diaper bum, just like dancing. You know, like everybody in the family can agree on that pretty much. I mean, I don't know about the teenagers, they might not so much, but yeah, the little kids probably.

Speaker 2:

And then too, it just doesn't have to look one way. I think so often we are like all or nothing type A people where it's like no, I have to do it this way, I have to do it this way, I have to do what I once did. My body should be capable of what it once was capable of. But I think giving ourselves a little bit of grace for change and evolution is really key here. And I love how you mentioned the nervous system piece. How can we tell what our nervous system might be needing on any given day. Any tips on that?

Speaker 1:

There's a few things. Well, one is just regardless of other life events and how busy we are, we're going to have natural cycles of when we have higher energy throughout the day and lower energy. And again, let's debunk the myth that for all of us our higher energy is going to be first thing in the morning. It may be a little bit later in the day, or maybe afternoon. So I wanted to acknowledge that that if we can start tapping in, just the rhythm of our day is helpful. When it comes to nervous system, I like to think about when are you feeling incredibly motivated to do X, whatever it may be? You know, paint the house, do the chores Most likely we're more in a high energy seat. At that point. Our sympathetic nervous system is dialed up a little bit. When we are lower on energy, when we kind of want to zone out, like for me, it's like I'm going to go read a book and it's like I'm going to keep reading this book. I'm going to keep reading this book. That's more of the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest and digest. And so what I've noticed is, especially if we are doing school with the kids and then we're busy with them on the weekends, that maybe we are starting to notice our natural flow of when we have high energy and low energy isn't quite so high anymore and we may feel more of that lower energy state that that would be a really good time to do something a little bit easier. Now, easier is not necessarily bad. We can work on fuller range of motion. We can work on deep breathing. There's other elements of physical conditioning with easier workouts. They're not only beneficial for the nervous system but for our bodies as well. So I wanted to bring that up, because so often with workouts it's like do the most challenging option, do it longer length, and that's how you know you get to get a good workout. And if we only do that, that's how we can also get injury, which we definitely don't want as a result of working out.

Speaker 1:

And so I encourage people to tap into the rhythm of their day, of their weeks, and notice what is your natural set point.

Speaker 1:

So my natural set point right is Monday I have higher energy, wednesday I usually have a little bit lower energy, and this is my normal week rhythm, with just those two days, for example.

Speaker 1:

However, if I've been for a month, every weekend I have something with my kids and I'm an introvert as well, so that impacts my energy levels and I'm out there extroverting a lot and volunteering Monday I have lower energy, and it's not because I'm not motivated to work, it's because my nervous system is tapped out and, rather than doing nothing, what I found is when I turned down that dial of intensity and sometimes it's not only on what I'm doing, but also the duration is when I feel better in my body, it's more motivating and then I'm more encouraged to go back to working out some kind of holding, that time and space. And so just I think, going into knowing what our set rhythm is and then starting to notice when are those fluctuations with that nonjudgmental awareness, just for curiosity oh, I know it's such a really busy week Like, I don't feel like cooking dinner, I don't feel like doing this. Well, what would be a better fit at this time?

Speaker 2:

Totally. For me right now, weekends have been some of the most challenging days, I think, because Friday I'm home with all three of my kids. I homeschool my older two and then my toddler is off from his preschool on Friday. So I know that like Friday I'm like in it, we're at the park, I'm moving, I'm with them, I'm kind of chasing them around, cleaning the house, whatever there's like movement happening. But then Saturday and Sunday I noticed I'm getting like a little maybe pent up anxiety, little maybe pent up anxiety. And those for me are good days to like step away, like tell my husband I'm going to go take a walk or I'm going to go do acupuncture, I'm going to go. So I'm like really having to be aware of those days.

Speaker 2:

I love that you point out the weekly rhythm, because we do have a weekly rhythm, like we have a schedule that we flow on. Some of us have like busy weekdays or weekends or all of it, right, and that is really relevant. And to add to that, I think this is a good piece to consider for the women out there is like cycle tracking too, and kind of start to open your awareness to when, during your menstrual cycle, are you feeling low energy. When are you feeling that boost and then like perhaps catering the movement to those, those cycles as well? A really good resource for that, who I just love, is Kate Northrup. So you guys can, you know, check out her. I think it's her book called do less. She's, like, talks about cyclical tracking and you know, just working smarter, not harder. Essentially which is what I'm hearing you say Like we don't have to push it, we're not like having to exhaust ourselves and to hurt ourselves in the process. Even it's like it can be easy, it can feel easy and it can feel fun.

Speaker 1:

It doesn't have to be a drag 100%, and the more we just gather information and gathering information can either be even be like, oh, that time. For me that's actually still amazing information because then it gives us more insight into the future of actually we're going to listen to the wisdom of our body and not just push and power through. And speaking of cycles, I wanted to expand upon that a little bit, because we will sometimes see like general recommendations which I think are a good starting point, and then what we want to do is how do we apply this? For me, so many people have asked like what workout can I do on the day that my menstrual cycle starts? And for me it's not only like on the day, but when it actually starts.

Speaker 1:

If it starts in the evening, I'm good to go the next day, but if it starts like later in the day and I squeeze the workout in amazing, if it starts first thing in the morning, my workout is going to be a very more restorative workout. So I've even formed my body narrowed down to not only the day but the time of day and then layering on everything else. That's swirling and it's just other considerations which, the more that we take time to tune in and it's not like has to be very extensive. We just start noticing the rhythms, like the rhythms that we notice in our children when they thrive, when they're taking a nap compared to not. We can pick up on those same notice in our children when they thrive, when they're taking a nap compared to not. We can pick up on those same rhythms in ourself.

Speaker 2:

Brilliant. I love the nuance of that, even like morning versus evening. That's a great point, and I think the through line here is just like what works for you, what feels really good for you. And that awareness piece is the first. It's the first step, and I love how you brought up nonjudgmental awareness, because sometimes we can beat ourselves up for knowing that we should be and I'm using air quotes for that doing something that maybe isn't right for us on that day. So will you tell us? I'm really curious. Pilates is like your area of expertise and your business. Your Pilates studio is called Trifecta Pilates, right? So I'd love to know why Pilates out of all the different modalities, and I'd love to know where the name Trifecta Pilates came from.

Speaker 1:

I got into Pilates about a year and a half after I had cancer, so I had gone back to the gym at that time and I just simply came into a class when I was at the university and I really enjoyed it. There's intriguing about it similar to what I was doing in more traditional workouts, yet a little bit different. And what I enjoyed was my teacher got into a lot of the nuances, how to personalize it. There was a mind-body connection there that I only deepened to explore the more that I began moving with Pilates and especially as I turned it into my life's work. And so what I realized is that at first I was trying to just kind of do my strength training workouts, do other healthy activities, and then Pilates was an addition. And once I realized you know that isn't quite working for me. What does Pilates actually do? And then you realize, well, it can do a lot. It can work mobility, stretch, balance, strength, depending upon the workout that we're doing. And then I went a step further of how is this supporting me? And it goes back to my hairbrush story earlier on, where I realized it's actually supporting my mental health and my regulation, my emotional regulation a lot, and this is something for a lot of people who I worked with during the time of COVID. They realized they continued their consistent Pilates practice, not only for physical benefits, but because of what was going on in their life at that time as well.

Speaker 1:

And so Trifecta Pilates really came about, because when I was wanting to start offering classes on YouTube which eventually morphed into an app, is I realized it's not just about a good workout, because for me, when it was just about a good workout, my motivation actually ebbed and flowed because I was just focusing on the physical benefits. It was about the body, the mind and the spirit, and I really think of spirit as, for instance, the moment your kid walks in the door or your partner, you know if they're having a good day or a bad day. That is your spirit talking, and when that is maybe a disconnect, we're kind of having a bad day. We know that workouts can actually be really wonderful, but maybe we need to do something a little bit different. So trifecta simply means honoring and respecting body, mind and spirit and focusing on all of those, as we're considering coming to the mat, and one area that's different about, I think, what I do, compared to a traditional Pilates studio is.

Speaker 1:

I am 100% online and that's because what I realized is, the moment I had kids, it was all about home workouts. Like I got a treadmill for the first time and, even though I was working in the Pilates studio, I would come home and work out, squeeze it in between nap times, and then that adjusted to sometimes waking up earlier than them. Other times I could put the kids to bed just like a half an hour early. So if I could work out after we went to bed. I mean, I have tried it all in order to have that consistent workout. And what I realized is we needed to have adaptability.

Speaker 1:

And when I was working at the university, I thought, okay, I need to actually circle back to Pilates. I felt that calling more fully, rather than at the time I was doing it part-time I'm going to open up a studio and I thought, no, actually I can't even go to a studio right now, and where I've always done Pilates is out of the home. And once I made that connection, it's like, oh, if I can do it out of the home and that's where I'm most consistent. That's what I actually need to share with other people is that you don't need to go to a studio because maybe they're like you and are homeschooling and have younger kids at home or they're, you know, managing other things going on in their life. Does it make sense to step on your mat for 10 minutes, or maybe it is a longer length class?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, amazing. So where can we find and follow your journey and then also find trifecta?

Speaker 1:

The best place where you kind of get a snapshot of everything it is that trifecta Pilates offers is at trifectapilatescom. If you're wanting to move with me, you can get more information there, or you can always follow me on Instagram and on YouTube.

Speaker 2:

Amazing. Are you the primary instructor or do you have other instructors as well?

Speaker 1:

I am right now the primary instructor for the teacher training For this cohort of people. I actually am working with someone else right now who has already gone through the teacher training program. So we're looking at expanding, but for right now you will hear me and see my face a lot.

Speaker 2:

Cool and give us an idea of what to expect when we hop on there to take a class. What can we expect?

Speaker 1:

a wide range of classes, ranging from beginner to advanced, from very short workouts, even five minute workouts, to full length classes, and for people who enjoy maybe being able to schedule their own classes or following a calendar, and I always give tips for how to make adjustments with that calendar. That's why we created the app, because we wanted more kind of support for people. There's also amazing programs, from foundational level programs to more advanced programs, and that's really beneficial, because one element with Pilates is that sometimes we are in such a rush to get the benefits that we bypass that strong foundation, especially if someone has had children like. We don't want to bypass that. How is the alignment informed? Because that not only helps more of our external muscles but our internal muscles, like core activation, pelvic floor support. We want to make sure we're working really optimally in our body, no matter what life stage that we're at.

Speaker 2:

Amazing, and we'll link all of those in the show notes. You can click there and find out all about trifecta, pilates and Beth's work. Thank you so much, beth, for the work that you're doing in the world. This is amazing. I love how you're connecting body and movement to personal development and parenting. You know it's all. It's all related. How you do one thing is how you do everything, and so you're really a shining, brilliant example of that. As we start to wrap up, I'm going to ask you the three questions I ask everybody at the end of the interview, and the first question is what's bringing you joy today?

Speaker 1:

It goes back to the simple pleasures is I don't have a bucket list and it's because I'm living in the moment today, and so what's bringing me joy is seeing my kids pursue their path that's authentic to them, and me taking more of a backseat rather than being a driver. It's kind of like my kids did a cardboard challenge when they were much younger and there was this huge event for this cardboard challenge and you could totally tell the cardboard challenge that were done by the kids and the parents handing them the piece of duct tape, compared to the parents who, like, built that cardboard rocket for them. And so I'm handing my kids that piece of duct tape.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's amazing. Oh my gosh, I'm so the hand piece, hand the piece of duct tape kind of a gal. I'm even like the sit five feet away and like get your own dang duct tape You're doing great. Um, I'm so that I. That's a great metaphor. I love it. What, if anything, are you reading right now?

Speaker 1:

I have been. I go back and forth between fiction and nonfiction and the most recent book I read probably won't sound too pleasant to people, but it is called I am a killer and it goes into what makes the killer and what it is for so many people is severe childhood neglect and trauma, and that's not an excuse by any means. But it also circles back to our importance of role, of supporting our kids and really being there for them, and I strongly believe anyone listening to this podcast is in that supportive role already for their children. And since I have an interest in professional development and trauma, informed care frameworks, like always, learning more about trauma is kind of just part of my wheelhouse, whether it's reading books or seminars I attend.

Speaker 2:

Yeah that's really interesting, that's fascinating to me.

Speaker 2:

I like I always joke that my brain is like crazy enough that I can't watch scary movies or read scary books because I just like I get in my own head and I just I get so scared. You know, no coincidence that fear is one of the emotions that I've been wading through on this past layer of the onion in my development journey. But I find that really fascinating and I do think that's a really good point because we don't want to have like compassion for these people who do these horrific things. However, like you said, it doesn't make it right, like nobody's justifying, you know, someone murdering someone, clearly, and like how terribly must these children have been abused and and neglected to even think it was a choice, you know, to even like embody that level of evil. You know it's almost like it's almost not comprehensible, but I think I think that's a beautiful thing that you're doing is to like see both sides of the coin. It's not just like love and light, it's it's, you know, it's that shadow aspect too. So thanks for sharing that.

Speaker 1:

You're welcome and I did want to mention there was definitely a point in my life it was when my kids were much younger like I'm steering away from all of that, like that's not even though. You know, I used to love like reading challenging books, like that. But I there was a phase where I was like yeah, I'm not, I can't do that. So just kind of getting back in to that now, I would say yeah, you're in a good stage to do that.

Speaker 2:

I'm still like a little sleep deprived, like there's. I can see there being like a season for that later in life. That's a great point. And then the last question I have for you, beth, is who or what has taught you the most?

Speaker 1:

I feel like it really is just different snapshots and highlights from so many different people. If I had to say one person, it would have to be my dad, and it was because when I was going through cancer, he was always trying to make me laugh. He did sometimes and other times to just like roll my eyes at him. I'm great at rolling my eyes at people and when he died, which was about 15 years ago, as challenging as that was and still is it actually reaffirmed why I want to be here for my family as long as I possibly can and feel as good as I possibly can. It's because I want to see them grow up and I want to be there for them and explore and continue with that relationship.

Speaker 2:

That's so beautiful, as most people here know if they've been listening for a while. Not that many people say their parents, which is interesting. Like you're part of, maybe I want to say three people off the top of my head who have mentioned like one or both parents specifically, and I find that to be just a beautiful answer and thank you for sharing that and all the wisdom and thanks for being who you are and showing up in the world doing the work.

Speaker 1:

Oh, and thanks so much, Ryan, for having me on. It was such a pleasure to speak with you. Yeah, it was.