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Speaker 1:
Hello friends, welcome back to the Raising Wild Hearts podcast and happy March. I love the change of the seasons. Spring is almost officially here, like a few more weeks, and I can really start to feel it right around now. The end of February, the beginning of March, I was like, oh, I just I feel something in the air, even though I'm gonna miss winter. I really am a big fan of winter, especially in Florida. I'm excited for spring. I see new blooms everywhere and new leaves and new growth, and I just love the change of the seasons. So happy, almost spring.
Speaker 1:
And I'm back today for another solo episode because, listen, when inspiration strikes, I Am going to share it with you all, and so I am. This week I have a lot of interviews scheduled, so yay. So I don't think you'll hear from me solo next week, but hey, you never know. It's kind of fluid at this point. So, but what I want to talk about today, it's a really valuable topic and Sometimes I just talk about things that I need to hear, and this is one of those things that I know I need to hear Repeated and I'm really reminding myself of always. And that is how to make decisions, and Sometimes, why we call ourselves indecisive is because it's just easier to like oh, I'm just not a good decision-maker, I just you know, whatever and so I've called myself indecisive for a really, really long time and I think that's just maybe an excuse for me. So here are the things that I've learned after becoming aware of why indecisiveness is just kind of a BS excuse. I think sometimes the labels we give to ourselves can be these perceived limitations of our tremendous capabilities, and so when I say something like BS excuse, it's because it's coming from Love. It's coming from my own experience on how I've overcome some of these perceived limitations in my life, and so the first and most powerful thing to keep in mind when you're making decisions in your life is this question am I making this decision based on love or am I making this decision based on fear? When love is the primary motivator, it's always the right answer. Here's one of the biggest and best examples of this in my own life.
Speaker 1:
It was spring 2020, when my oldest daughter was going into kindergarten. That following fall, and I think you can all remember what happened in spring 2020 and my Initiatory is that a word? It is now my. My first reaction was I'm keeping her home. I guess I'm homeschooling. Oh well, this is better than you know. Insert all the things here. You know my daughter going to kindergarten Trying to learn how to read with a teacher and a mask, doing work on the internet six hours a day, etc. Etc. Etc. And so really, if I'm super honest, my initial decision to Choose homeschooling for our family at that time was based in fear. And let me tell you, if I was still basing this decision on fear, my kids would probably be in the public school up the road right now, because some days of homeschooling are really flipping scary.
Speaker 1:
So let's talk a little bit about how to Root our decisions in love, because when we hear that idea, of course we say yes, we want to make decisions for ourselves and our family based in love. And how, on a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute basis, do we do that? And you guys might be sick of hearing me say this, but I'm gonna say it again it all starts with awareness. So becoming aware that we need to make our decisions based in love, becoming aware that sometimes fear shows up disguised as love, and being able to discern which is the difference. So first to do any of those, we have to become aware.
Speaker 1:
So let's say you're analyzing a choice that you're making right now in your life and you say to yourself, hey self, I think I might be making this decision a little bit based in fear, now what? And the next step to take is to open your heart. What that means is going to be a little bit different for everybody or for everybody it might be a combination of these things, but it's opening your heart, physically and metaphorically. So, going for a walk, doing some exercises like getting into your body, feeling yourself, feeling how you're feeling in the moment, this is embodiment.
Speaker 1:
When we are analyzing and we are coming at perceived problems with our cognitive ability, which many of us I could venture to say all of us have a tendency to do. We are in our heads but we are not in our bodies. My favorite ways to get back into my body are taking a walk on my favorite nature trail, having a dance party, doing some heart opening exercises, going to a yoga class. The possibilities are endless here, and sometimes I find from this place the decision just then becomes a knowing or an intuitive sense or feeling about what the answer is, if you're out of your head and into your body and there's still no definitive, clear feeling or intuitive hit that you have the answer, then that for me becomes a time of reverence or prayer or asking for guidance from God, the creator, from the universe, to at least point you in the right direction, and sometimes that just means putting one foot in front of the other, trusting and knowing that a decision will become clear ["Blood and Blood"].
Speaker 1:
Another thing I really like to do, and this is definitely more in that analytical, rational piece, which is good to have. Both. There's an embodiment piece and then there's a way to think about problems logically. This for some of you, might be a pros and cons list. Pros and cons lists have never, and I don't think will ever, work for me. I always, no matter what it is, end up having this same number on either column, so for me the pros and cons list just doesn't work. But here's what does work for me and what will continue to work for the foreseeable future.
Speaker 1:
I filter decisions through my value pillars and there was an episode on April 10th that my husband, nate, was the guest on and we talked about creating a unique family culture and alchemizing struggles into growth. And on that episode, one of the things that we did was we did an exercise where I went and I chose I think it was for core value words, and then he chose for core value words, and then we came together on the episode and that live was the first time that we told each other what words we had come up with, and that's one of the ways, throughout the years, that we've created our family culture and defined. These are the values of our family, and so when you have this North Star, where you're so confident in your family values, you can filter literally everything through these pillars, and if it's a decision that you might be making for yourself, might I add, it's really a valuable thing to have your own individual values listed out, because I think, as mothers, as the matriarchs of our households, oftentimes I know I over identify with this role of mom and mommy and mama, and so it's valuable for me to remember too that I am my own unique individual person and I also have my own set of values when making decisions for myself, and that comes into play as well. So, as we start to wrap up, it's important to note that when we're making decisions, we need to be exercising the logical parts of ourselves, and then we need to be exercising the emotional parts of ourselves, which is where that embodiment piece comes in, because we can't know how we're feeling unless we're in our bodies. And one more thing to note here on that is when we're making decisions based on fear. It sounds a lot like or feels a lot like. I'll be happy when and of course, insert your thing here when I live in this neighborhood, when I drive this car, when I am five pounds lighter, when I am two inches taller, when I am, I am, I am.
Speaker 1:
Alternatively, when we're making those decisions rooted in love, it feels calm, it feels confident, it feels peaceful and it feels simply content. And I don't know about you, but one of my big factors for success recently is how content I'm feeling on any given day or week or month. So ditch the old pros and cons list and start to become aware of and getting into the habit of exercising that logic. That is this fitting in with my family values. Is this realistic? Is this something that we want? Is this something that makes sense?
Speaker 1:
And combining that with staying rooted in your loving presence and awareness, and with that, any decision you make will just be easy peasy, lemon squeezy, like my girls and I would say, speaking of which, it's really amazing to bring your kids into discussions and developmentally appropriate decisions that you might be making, because then they can get to see what real life problem solving is like and how mom and dad are looking at this decision from two different places and from two different value sets and bringing it together to make one decision for the family and, on that note.
Speaker 1:
That is all I have for you this time. Thank you so much for being here. I loved this conversation. I know that these things have helped me so much along the way as I've started to develop this trust muscle and really leaning into being a person who is decisive and is confident in making decisions big ones and small ones. So if this was helpful for you, please send this link to a friend. You can find the show on Spotify, on iTunes and anywhere you listen to your podcasts, and I will talk to you guys next week. Bye. So,